All I Wanna Say (Full Length)
by Carlos'sCupcake
Summary: Valentine and Kendall are typical best friends until something happens, and then they turn into friends with benefits. Can their friendship last through this or will they lose fifteen years of friendship?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay, so this is like a prequel to the one-shot that I wrote for ****ValentineZombie.**** The suggestion came from ****DeniseDEMD**** so all credit goes to her and I hope you guys like it! Also, if you haven't checked out ****Love Me, Love Me**** by BigTimeO, you have got to check it out. Oh and SuperSillyStories 's new story ****Ghost In My Closet****, it is absolutely adorable! :)**

I ignore the ringing of the doorbell and continue reading my book. It's after nine on a Saturday evening, and if it's that important, the right people have a key to my house. If not, they'll just have to come back some other time.

Seconds later I hear the front door open and a male voice call out, "Valentine!"

"Upstairs in my room", I yell back and grab my bookmark and slide it into place and set the reading material back down on my nightstand as I hear my best friend's footsteps climbing the stairs.

"Hey", he appears in the doorway and crouches over, putting his hands on his legs, greeting his little Boston Terrier Sissy, whom I've kept for the past week at my house while he was on vacation.

Sissy gets excited and stands up from her place on my bed, her tail wagging furiously as she makes her way over to her owner. "Hey girl, daddy missed you", Kendall croons to her as he picks her up and rubs his chin over the top of her head. After a minute, he sets her down and sits on the edge of my bed. "Did you have any problems with her?", the blonde asks.

"None whatsoever, she was a sweetheart like always", I tell him and pull my legs up, Indian style, then pat the edge of my bed where the small dog comes running over to me and I lean over to pick her up. "How was vacation?"

"Ahhh", he runs a hand through his hair. "It was cold, I don't know why I even wanted to go to the Poconos for skiing", he shakes his head. "I'm just really glad to be back home".

I nod my head once, completely understanding and utter, "Yeah". I've lived here in California my whole life and not once have had the urge to move somewhere else. I don't even care what snow looks, tastes, or feels like. I like a warm climate and am very content right where I'm at. "Anything cool happen?", I ask and grab my mug of tea from the nightstand, taking a quick drink and then putting it back.

"Not really besides busting my ass a few times and chilling in a hot tub. It's not much fun going on a getaway with your family", he shrugs. Yeah I can imagine all the ladies lined up to hang out with a half naked Kendall Knight. He's got this contagious laugh and the most beautiful green eyes with a precious pair of dimples to match, and a really cool, laid-back personality. Personally I don't think it would be such a drag hanging with his family for a week, but maybe that's because they're not my family.

Kendall looks me over and then over to my nightstand, noticing that I'm wearing pajamas and laying in bed. "Dude, it's a Saturday night what the hell are you doing sitting at home?"

"Uhh, reading a fucking book", I raise an eyebrow at him and use a 'duh' tone.

He chuckles and shakes his head back and forth. "Val, you're twenty one and single. You're not sixty five with a family and a husband. You should be out doing social things with people. Not holed up like some nerdy bookworm."

"Hey", I straighten my back and attempt to defend myself. "I go to college on the weekdays and work nights at a bar/coffeehouse, that does not classify me a social retard. Okay so I'm not the most popular person in this town, but I'm okay with that. Besides", I pull a shoulder up to my chin, "I get tired of being around drunk people."

Kendall stands up and puts his hands in his pockets, and takes a few steps closer to the side of my bed. "What ya reading there?", he smirks and his eyes dart from mine to my book just as he lunges for it.

"Noooo!", I call out and try to reach it, but of course he's taller and had a headstart, so Kendall gets it first.

"Ooooooh Fifty Shades of Grey", he eyes it with an amused expression. "No wonder you're staying in. I've heard lots of things about the series", he wiggles his eyebrows, making me flush the slightest bit.

"Oh shut up Kendall", I cross my arms over my chest and slink back down onto my butt. "It's not just about sex. If you took the time to read it you would find out how a real man treats a woman!"

He giggles again before spouting, "I can't believe my best friend is such a dork."

"Well you should be used to it by now Mr. Knight", I get up on my knees and walk across the bed, taking the book from him. "We've been friends for fifteen years." He's been my best friend since my family moved to Monterrey in first grade and Tommy Jenkins kept making fun of me and pulling mean pranks on me on the playground. After a week straight of coming back to class late and getting in trouble for things I didn't do, Kendall stood up for me, and well...that's how it goes. We've stayed close friends all of this time, never letting anything get in our way or anything. Yeah, things changed as we got older, but I still know I could call Kendall anytime, anywhere and he would have my back.

Kendall sticks his tongue out at me. "Wanna go to a party with me? James, Logan, and Carlos are going and I'm tagging along."

"Nah. But thanks", I tell him.

His teeth clamp down on the corner of his bottom lip, showing a devious grin. "I've heard that Jacob is gonna be there, and it's supposed to be sick, too."

Suddenly he has my attention and my head rises on it's own. "Jacob Coleman?", I question.

"Yes, Jacob Coleman", Kendall responds in a girly voice while putting one hand on his bony hip, the other over his heart. "He's so dreamy, I wonder if he likes me. I want to kiss him, see what his lips taste like. Then we can get married and bone every-"

Unfortunately for Kendall, he's cut off by a pillow slamming into his head. I start cracking up because his hair is dishevelled once the pillow falls to the floor. "You are a butthead", I get to my feet. "But fine, I'll go."

He laughs and picks the pillow up, tossing it back on the bed. "You so have the hots for him. I don't know why you haven't tried to talk to him yet."

"Just leave me alone", I stalk over to my closet and start looking through things while Kendall calls Carlos.

I rifle through the clothes while he yaps, and then turn to him when he hangs up. "Well?", I ask.

"They'll be here in twenty minutes, you're the designated driver for the way home, and Carlos said be ready", he gets out all in one breath.

I huff and stomp my foot on the floor. Figures these bastards would want me to come along to get the shit job of playing chauffeur on the way home while they get wasted and puke all over. Yeah, this isn't the first time it's happened. But then again, twenty minutes isn't very long to get ready. "Pick me out something to wear? Please?", I put my hands together and place them in front of my face, begging Kendall. He did ask me to go after all, he could be bothered to help me out.

Once he nods I squeak out a quick, "Thank you", and run to the bathroom, where the first thing I do is plug in my straightening iron to heat up and open my make-up bag.

...

Twenty minutes later the doorbell rings and I fly down the stairs, with pride for being completely ready. Kendall opens the door for me and then puts another scoop of kibble in Sissy's food dish, and all three of the guys walk in, surprised to see me. I toss them a smug smirk, knowing they were expecting me to still be upstairs getting ready and they would probably grab a beer from the fridge and watch t.v. until I was done.

"Hey guys", I greet them.

Three "Hey Valentine"'s go by and I grab my purse sitting on top of the counter and drape it over my shoulder and call, "Shotgun!"

Since it's Carlos's car, he has to drive and Kendall, Logan, and James all have to sit in the backseat of the SUV, and they show their disappointment by rolling their eyes at me, but I just ignore them and walk out the door.

Less than two minutes later, the engine starts and we're pulling out of my driveway. "So how long have you liked Jacob for?", James asks me from the backseat.

I turn around quickly in my seat and flip Kendall off. He catches on right away, for his eyes widen. He knows I didn't want anyone to know but he apparently has been running his mouth. "You suck", I jab my finger at him and then turn back around.

"I don't know", I answer honestly. He's a cute brunette who I met in school and I've sort of developed a crush on him.

"You need to hit on him", Carlos suggests.

Before I get a chance to say anything, Kendall scoffs. "Pffft, she's too shy. She'll probably just stand around eyefucking him all night."

"Fuck you, Knight", I blurt out. "I'll talk to him. Geez, way to have faith in me." Ugh, why did I decide to go with these guys? I always end up getting made fun of for something or another simply because I'm the opposite sex.

"Yeah right", Logan chimes in.

I turn my neck around, narrowing my eyes at him. "I totally will", I retort.

"I'll believe it when I see it", James is the next to jump on the bandwagon.

"Do you guys always have to be such dicks? I said I'll do, I'll fucking do it!", I face the right way and lean my head against the back of the seat.

"Would you be willing to put money on that?", Kendall's mischievious voice comes from the back.

I sit up and swallow. Screw this, I'm tired of being picked on. "Yeah. Fifty bucks says you'll see me talking to Jacob tonight".

"It can't be just a hi. We have to see you standing with him for at least three minutes", Carlos intervenes.

"I'm totally gonna do it", I state with sass in my tone. "And when it happens you boys each owe me fifty."

"When you don't do it, you owe us each fifty", James retorts like a child and I turn around and ruffle his hair, knowing it'll piss him off.

"Hey", he jerks away, making me laugh.

"Fine. Challenge accepted", I square my shoulders. It's time to show these boys once and for all that I'm not the weak little girl they think I am.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I want to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter, I'm glad to see that you all liked it. Unfortunately I am about to pass out and have been working on this ferociously for the past couple of hours with intense brain fog due to crappy sinus issues and I'm too tired for shout outs. I know I know, I suck and I'm a lame bitch, haha, but you have my solemn promise that I will begin shout outs next chapter, I'm simply too impatient to wait to post this...I just hope it makes sense lol. Enjoy :)**

*****SO APPARENTLY MY DUMB ASS POSTED THIS ON THE ONE-SHOT INSTEAD OF THE FULL LENGTH STORY HEHE, SO I HAVE TO SNEAK IT IN HERE OR ELSE THE REST OF MY STORY WILL MAKE NO SENSE LOL. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO POINTED IT OUT TO ME :)**

I glance around at all the action going on; people are dancing everywhere, homemade drinking games are being played, and of course some drunk people are making out in sporadic places. A glance around the kitchen and living room finds Kendall on the couch playing someone's beat up acoustic guitar, with a hoard of girls smothering. Who knew like eight people could fit on one couch? The black haired girl on his right side is holding the sleeve of his shirt up on his shoulder, tracing her index finger over the tattoo. The girl on his left is fawning at him like he hung the moon. Carlos is out on the balcony wearing a grass skirt and a coconut bra in the middle of a makeshift circle of people, spinning some kind of object that is lit at both ends. I shake my head, knowing this guy isn't going to get away unscathed tonight. The latino is a daredevil, and will no doubtedly end up with some kind of injury or another before we head home hours from now and I'll be forced to nurse him so he avoids infection or possible amputation with his silly shenanigans. James, the playboy, has some half naked blonde cornered against the wall, his arms pinning her on both sides of her head, she's currently smirking and batting her lashes at him while his hands run up and down her sides, his eyes most likely glued to her chest that looks like it could float away at any time. Last but not least, Logan is perched next to me on the island counter in the kitchen, trying to explain some geometrical formula to me that I clearly have no interest in, and we're sipping on some kind of drink he mixed for us. I'm taking it easy with mine since I'm the designated driver, scanning the room for girls who look like they may be Logan's type, trying to figure out which one he should try to take his chances with. There's a short red-head throwing darts or a the brunette giggling with her friend, sipping on a Cranberry Mike's Hard Lemonade.

"Psst", I nudge him in the ribs and motion to the brunette. "She looks like your type and actually she went to my college last year. Think her name's Denise", I tell him.

"I don't know, man", he leans closer to me.

"Oh come on", I take advantage of him raising the lip of the red solo cup to his lips, and lift it, forcing him to drink all of it down so maybe he'll loosen up a bit more. He sputters and coughs for a minute after swallowing, to which I pat his back and try not to laugh. Yeah, the guys all rag on me, but when it comes to members of the opposite sex, Logan is even worse than me. He's kinda nerdy and extremely shy; picking up a girl is a big challenge for him. "Go accidentally bump into her", I use air quotes when I say this, "And then tell her a joke. Something cute, nothing corny or like a lame pick up line."

"Val", he whines, looking like his eyes are about to pop out of his head. "Hey", he tries to turn the tables on me. "Aren't you supposed to be talking to that Joseph guy or something?"

"His name's Jacob", I tap Logan's forehead with my palm and grab the nearest bottle of liquid, filling his cup halfway with it, then handing it back to him, tipping my head towards him in motion to drink it. "And I've already got my plan. I just need to get you out of here and mackin' on someone, without looking like you have a broom shoved up your ass."

"Mean", he sticks his tongue out at me.

"Yeah, and I have two hundred bucks on the line that I don't want to lose", I retort. "So drink up and get away from me", I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Fine", he huffs and empties the contents of his cup into his mouth, then slides down off the counter. "If she says no, I'll be stuck up your butt for the rest of the night."

"Oh shut up", I shove him in the shoulder. Poor Logan has low self esteem and it's not like he's ugly or anything, he just has no faith in himself. I smile at myself as he approaches a smiling Denise and scan the place, looking for the brunette I've been crushing on for a while now.

My eyes zone in on Jacob chatting with another guy that's in our forensics class and it seems as if every so often he comes back to the very counter I'm sitting on top of to get a new drink, so I figure if I hang out here, it's inevitable that we'll meet again. Not wanting to look like a snobby loser for sitting by myself, I take my phone out and text Carla, one of my good friends. We have a silly conversation before good luck strikes and a certain spiky haired guy getting ready to make me two hundred dollars richer is coming my way. "Hey", I say when he's close and grab a jelly bean from the candy dish next to me and pop it into my mouth. Liquid courage keeps my heart steady and aids in me talking to him.

"Hey", his eyes widen in acknowledgement when he sees me.

"Rad party, huh?", I ask.

He tips his head to one side and then the other, keeping his lips pressed together. "Not bad", he states and reaches for a bottle of rum. "Want some?", he asks.

I respond by holding my cup out to him. "Just a little, I have the shit job of being DD tonight".

"Ahh that sucks", he pours an inch of the amber liquid into mine and then fills his up a good halfway.

"Meh", I shrug my shoulders. "Could be worse".

I try not to be too obvious by staring him down, but I've never really been up this close to him and his blue eyes are striking, his lips full and inviting. He smirks as if he can read my thoughts and takes a sip of his rum, which I do as well. "So we never talk", he inches closer to me.

I take a deep breath and tilt my head. "You have really pretty eyes", I blurt out, not able to help myself. I quickly drop my chin to my chest to hide the blush rising up on my cheeks.

Jacob chuckles and takes another step closer to me, slipping his index finger under my chin, bringing my eyes to his. Our eye lock is intense and my body heats up with arousal at his touch. "So are yours", he states matter of factly, and licks his lips; the action not gone unnoticed by me.

I almost gasp when he rests his hand on my knee and his face creeps toward mine. Okay so alcohol is a good thing, it's preventing me from hyperventilating. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him to me by parting my thighs and allowing him to step between them. His lips are soft against mine and fueled by spirits, it's only a matter of seconds before I open my mouth, letting his tongue slide inside and explore my mouth. Almost immediately he pulls away, groaning and muttering the word, "Strawberry".

I catch on quickly and smile, pointing to the clear bowl next to me. "Jelly beans", I say, and out of the corner of my eye I see James watching me. I flip him off and give him a smug grin, then avert my attention back to Jacob. I don't know if it's from the drinks or what, but lust is coursing through my veins at lightning speed and I drop my hands to his sides, skimming over his abdomen with my thumbs. "You umm...", I bite my lip seductively. "You wanna go upstairs or something?", I suggest. Let me just point out that I'm a single woman who hasn't slept with anyone in well over six months, and they say you only live once right? I've been waiting for some of Jacob's attention for months, and now that I have it, I'm not gonna let him weasel away from me easily.

"Yeah, sure", said man sets his drink down on the counter and presses his lips against mine briefly. "You go ahead and go up to a room, I'll run out to my car to get some protection."

"It's a deal", I wink at him, and let him take my hand and help me to my feet. He kisses me again before he sets me down, making me giggle. I watch him walk away and then take my time ascending the staircase.

...

More than ready for what's to come, I secure a room and turn the lights off before stripping down completely naked and sitting on top of the bed. I figure at least this way my nerves can't get the best of me and make me back down; and I just can't wait to tell the guys that I got laid and look at the disappointed looks on their faces when they have to pay up. My mind runs amuck with different scenarios, and by the time the door opens, I practically leap on Jacob, saying, "Shhh", before smashing my mouth onto his.

He catches me with his arms around my back and seems a bit hesitant at first, but gets over it rapidly, and his lips move back against mine as he carries me to the bed. His kisses are stirring up something inside of me that I've never felt before and one thing leads to another, Jacob gets naked and our hands are all over eachother; the condom is ripped open, and we're engaged in sex.

I have no complaints, I give myself away easily to the pleasure with no inhibitions and soon I'm digging my nails into his back as my orgasm hits while nipping at whatever skin I can reach. But I'm dragged back to reality at rocket speed when the voice that calls my name doesn't match the body of whom I've been intimate with; or so I think.

I freeze up and he pulls out, then I scramble to the head of the bed, pulling the blankets up over me, and exclaim with horror, "Kendall?!"

"Valentine?!", he calls again, making the moment real. My head starts spinning with the realization that I just had sex with my best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Okay so we are at chapter three, my apologies again for the mix-up on chapter 2, but accidents do happen. And thank all of you who reviewed, you guys are awesome! SHOUT OUTS ****SuperSillyStories****- Ha, no crack up all you want because I totally would have as well! I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that part or not haha. Yeah, Logan did get a number from Denise, bless his dorky little heart. :) ****kachilee07****- Ha, glad you loved the image of Carlos in a grass skirt and coconut bra. And poor Logan, he's such a nerd haha. Yes, yes, yes, Valentine ended up sleeping with Kendall, how ironic BUT hilarious too :) ****DeniseDEMD****- Well umm, I thought it was only fitting that you get the role of Logan's love interest since it was your idea for me to write this 'prequel'. And yup, instead of sleeping with Jacob, Valentine knocked boots with Kendall :) ****ValentineZombie****- Well thanks, I do feel better kinda, right now...I had a CT scan done of my sinues yesterday, now just waiting to get the results :) Hahaha you totally get friend of the year award. I agree with you about Carlos, and yup James is getting laid...just like you and Kendall! Ha, I just HAD to put a little twist in there, cuz yano, it's so fun...and a totally awesome idea, at least I think so! Btw, I despise snow as well, oh and I LOVE the 50SOG trilogy *sigh* good stuff! ****Stephanie . E . M****-Ha, glad you liked :) ****Logan's Honey Pie****- ha maybe...maybe not :) ****paumichyy****- Haha yup it's Kendall, what a surprise! ****annabellex2****- Yup wrong room lol...actually the story is not completed, I posted that to the wrong thing haha ****BravesGirl16****- I'm glad you like this so far, and of course she will, women rule! :P ****suckerforlovestory****- Ha, hope you like this :) ****Emy . Elle****- yuppers, a new story...and heck yea Valentine nees to show these g uys what's up and get her two hundred bucks! ****Tokala****- Yeah, it's got to suck sometimes being the only girl haha, I can imagine how weird things can get. Oh and Kendall is the much better option, in my opinion anyway! :) **

Needless to say, the drive back home is awkward. Somehow, Kendall got the lovely honor of riding shotgun because James is in the third row of seats dry humping the blonde girl he's been making out with all night while Logan is draped halfway across the middle row of seats barfing in a plastic bag, while Carlos is holding a bandage to his arm tightly with his head resting against the seat back, wincing everytime we ride over a bump or something.

"So I see you got some Valentine. Nobody can miss that hickey the size of Texas on your neck", the latino decides to tease me from the back seat. My face heats up immediately and I have never in my entire life been so happy for it to be dark out than it is now. I keep my eyes on the road, not daring to look over in Kendall's direction.

"Yup, and you boys better pay up", I reply quickly.

"I bet it was good", Kendall chimes in, the smile on his face obvious from the way his voice sounds. I flip him off, still in shock at what happened, but all he does it lean in to my ear and whisper, "Been there, done that". I know he's my best friend and all, but for him to know me that intimately is rather embarrassing; who knows, maybe I'm just weird.

"Fuck you, our friendship is over", I'm pretty sure I mean it as I say it. God, I just don't even understand how it happened, and once we realized who the other person was, there wasn't much conversation exchanged before I made Kendall get out of the room.

"_Holy fuck, we just fucked!", I pulled the blanket all the way on top of me, frozen in place. _

_ "I-", Kendall tried to speak but I wasn't hearing any of it. _

_ "No, just get your damn clothes on and leave. We are never talking about this, and NO ONE is to know". To my suprise, he agreed to my terms. Damn it, why did I have to be so adamant about keeping the light off? It was pitch black in there, but I still covered my head with the blanket while listening to the rustling of his clothes until he announced he was done. "Go suck down like five shots so you can forget about it", I told Kendall as he slipped out the door._

I did good avoiding him for the rest of the time we were at the party, and I still don't know what ever happened to Jacob. All I can do is hope that the whole mistake between Kendall and I fades away soon, but him sitting mere feet away from me isn't helping anything; neither is the fact that he thinks the whole situation is funny. Okay, I know I should laugh about it, but...I've kinda been crushing on Kendall for a little while now and this just changes everything. It's simple for men to walk away from a one-night stand with no feelings; but everybody knows it's different for women. I'm not saying that I'm full blown in love with him and wanna get married and have his babies, but skipping through a field of daisies while holding Kendall's hand kinda has it's appeal. Or maybe even watching a movie cuddled up on the couch.

"Dude, everybody gets it on. Sex is a natural thing", Logan decides to lift his head from puking his guts out and offers up his own two cents.

"I know", I slap the steering wheel with one of my hands, and as if he has a point to prove, James lets out a long moan from the back of the vehicle. "And let's not make a big deal out of it okay? Valentine's sex life is not up for discussion", I turn the volume up on the radio and start singing along to Avenged Sevenfold's Nightmare.

My thoughts wander while I drive and my emotions play an intense game of tug or war. Like should I be mad at Kendall for this, since he invited me to the party anyway? I could be at home in my bed having awesome dreams of Christian Grey. Or maybe it's all four of these guys's fault for making me DD of the night and I didn't get to drink much. At least if I got wasted a two hundred dollar loss wouldn't have seemed like much and I probably would have partied my ass off and not cared. Hell, who knows, it's just weird how things play out. Well Kendall doesn't seem to be affected by it, so I should act the same right? I mean of course it's gonna be a bit weird between us at first, but we can't let a fifteen year old friendship be flushed down the toilet over a stupid accident right? Because I for one did not have the intentions of having sex with Kendall Knight when I walked into that room tonight and stripped. So...maybe pretending like it never happened is the best choice right?

...

It's almost three o'clock the next afternoon when I wake up to the smell of coffee and...something burnt. Curiously, I slip out of the bed wearing my pajamas and head down the stairs to be met with the sight of Kendall at the stove. He slept over last night since his car is parked here in my driveway, but we didn't utter one single word to eachother, and I made him sleep downstairs on the couch. "Mornin'", he greets me casually with a smile and turns back to stirring whatever it is he's cooking.

Okay so our little sexcapade last night is long forgotten and as I decided last night, I won't even bring the subject up. "Mornin' Kendy", I call back out and grab a mug from the cupboard and fill it with some of the dark caffeinated liquid, then set it on the counter to add sugar and creamer. "What ya cooking?"

"Scrambled eggs with cheese and hot sauce", he points towards one pan on the stove, and next to it he takes the lid off of a bigger one. "And fried potatoes", he beams proudly of himself.

"Sweet", I respond and sit down, taking several sips of my coffee and looking up in the direction of the sky to give a blessed thanks to whatever god is up there for inventing the delicious beverage. Sometimes I wonder how I ever survived before I started drinking coffee.

I'm still half asleep while Kendall babbles on about some place he and the guys have a gig at tonight. He just drones on about it until the food's done, and he sets a plate in front of me. "Thanks", I tell him and dig in. Hey, I'm a hungry woman.

We chat while we eat, then I clear the table and fix myself a second cup of coffee and head to the living room, where I plop down on the couch and get ready to turn the t.v. on, but Kendall grabs the remote before I reach it. I look at him like, 'My house, my remote bitch', but he just saunters across the room and sits in the recliner, then speaks some words that instantly have my heart hammering against my chest cavity. "We need to talk."

I nervously run my fingers through my side-swept bangs and sigh, dropping my gaze to my lap. "If it's about last night, everything is fine. We're totally cool and there are no hard feelings, Kendall. It was just an accident", I blurt out.

"Well it is about last night", he says just as easily as if he was telling me my favorite movie is on t.v., which makes me angry. Not because of the way he says it, but because it's so simple for him to not feel weird about it, while I'm practically shitting my pants and about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Kendall-", I pick at a piece of imaginary lint on my shorts.

"No Valentine, just let me say this", he intervenes. "If you don't agree to it, it's perfectly okay."

"Alright", I say, barely above a whisper, adrenaline rushing through my veins. Is he gonna tell me that the condom had a hole in it? Holy fuck, is there a possibility that I might be pregnant? That he really knew it was me in the room along? All sorts of possibilites run through my head in the few seconds it takes for Kendall to start talking again.

"I'm glad it happened", he says, momentarily stunning me, making me look at him. "I mean like, it wasn't horrible and you seemed to enjoy it". Aww shit I feel my cheeks flaming up, but he doesn't stop there, nor break our eye-contact. "I think it would be a good deal for us to be friends with benefits."

I shake my head, trying to clear it. "No", I say. "Just no".

"Look, let me just make my point", the devious bastard chews on the corner of his lip and smirks as he leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. "Neither one of us are in a relationship right now, and if we sleep together we're helping eachother out. I could tell from last night that it's been a while for you and it would prevent you from sleeping around, or from having to find a guy."

"Kendall, are you fucking crazy?", I yell. That aspect of my life is really none of his business.

"Just let me finish", he holds his hands out in front of him. "I wouldn't mind hooking up with you from time to time. We'll keep it purely physical, not letting it strain our friendship. I mean, you are my best friend, but you're hot as well Valentine, plus", he pauses for a minute. "I didn't finish last night so you kinda owe me."

My mouth drops open at the complete look of seriousness on his face. "I-. No, It wasn't even planned and it's not my fault", I stumble around to try to find the right words.

"Okay so I was kidding about the you owe me part", he chuckles and stands up. "But I'm serious about the other. It's no secret that I find you attractive, just think about it okay?"

Is he fucking serious right now? This is like some Christian Grey shit he's pulling with that crazy confidence and walking away as if he's some mob boss, leaving the thoughts to haunt my mind. I watch in a stupor as he disappears out my front door.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Umm since I didn't give shout outs in my other story today, I won't here either, just to be fair. Sorry guys...plus I kinda just made a new tumblr account and I forgot how easily hours pass by which seems like mere minutes, so yea hehe :) Hope you like!**

"I'll just have the grilled chicken breast with a caesar salad", I tell the smiling waiter. I watch his pen move over the pad of paper and then he extends his hand, to which I gladly place the menu in his hand and utter, "Thank you", and then Isadora does the same.

"So", she asks as our tall, dark, and not so handsome server walks away. "What's new?"

I take a long sip of my iced tea, deciding whether I should indulge her in my secret or not from Saturday night, and then Kendall's proposition from yesterday. I figure why the hell not, it can't hurt to have another woman's perspective on the subject and I do trust Isadora. She's Carlos's sister, younger by a year and also happens to work at The HangOut, which my parents own. "Hmm", I furrow my eyebrows and push my lips out, trying to figure out how to come out with it. "Kendall and I might have slept together Saturday night...", I say reluctantly and cringe. When the pretty brunette's eyes widen, I throw my hands out in front of me. "But it was a total accident!" I go on to tell her the whole situation, and of course she's laughing when I tell her all about Mr. Knight's not so innocent behavior in the car.

"Haaa, that is so funny, Valentine", she claps her hands and sits up straight. "But how do you feel about it?"

Good question, and I have to be honest. "I liked it. I mean, not that is was Kendall. It was good, he's definitely a giver even though he was drunk. In a way it just feels weird because we've been best friends for fifteen years and it's almost like he's my brother", I chew on my lip, giving Isadora the 'help me' eyes. She smirks and I cringe, obviously she can read my mind. "And now I think I like him...like that. But just a little." I put my head in my hands and sigh, life sure has gotten complicated within the last two days.

"Well maybe you should tell him", she suggests and shrugs his shoulders. "You never know, he just might like you, too".

I spit out a mouthful of my beverage all over the table and start choking, coughing into my napkin until my airway is clear. "No, no way he likes me", I sputter when I can manage and turn my index finger to myself rotating it in a circle. "Umm do you see me? I am so not his type. He goes for tall skinny blondes. I'm short, curvy and dye my hair red. I'm goth, not the preppy slutty, glamorous kind that he always goes for."

Isadora crosses her arms over her chest and sits against the back of the chair. "You're hot, Val, and I don't know why you think you wouldn't be his type. Honestly, I've never seen a set of best friends as cute as you guys are. You're like Joey and Dawson from Dawson's Creek. It's inevitable that something like this would happen. Actually, I say it's about time", she grins smugly.

"Whatever", I shake my head, but then remember there's more. "So umm, yesterday he kinda asked me to be his fuck buddy", I blurt.

Isadora's eyes widen and her jaw drops. "What?!"

"You heard me", I retort.

"Well what did you tell him?"

"I told him I don't know. I mean, I didn't even think he was serious at first. And now everytime I see him I'm gonna remember what it was like...being with him", I mutter the last three words through clenched teeth.

"Are you crazy? Just do it!", the latino exclaims and leans towards the table. "I mean, at least you'll be getting some without having to go man-hunting and you know Kendall. Just leave your feelings at the door and get freaky. If he wasn't one of my brother's best friends, I would probably have tried to date him myself."

Why do I feel a twinge of jealousy at my friend's confession? I think I'm shocked they haven't hooked up yet, too because she's tall and beautiful, always has all kinds of guys chasing after her. I've never been jealous of her...until now. "I don't know. I mean things could get complicated", I feel my mood lift a bit when the waiter comes back with our appetizer of hot wings and cheese sticks.

Isadora hands us each an extra plate, then starts piling food on hers. "C'mon, you said yourself that the sex was good, AND I know you're reading that damn Fifty Shades trilogy again. Girl I don't know how anybody can read that stuff and not get sexually frustrated."

"But that's the thing", I reach for some food myself. "Sex with Kendall sounds weird to me. It's like so alien or something, like it just doesn't sound right. Valentine and Kendall having sex?", I shake my head and take a bite of a mozzarella stick after dipping it into the marinara sauce. "It's almost like I'm ten again and that word gives me the giggles."

"You make no sense", Izzy licks her lips. "You're twenty one and not a virgin by any means. I think it would be a good deal for you, but that's just me. Do what you want", she announces the end of her sentence by chomping down onto a chicken wing.

"Ugh", I whine. "I kinda do want to, but won't that make things awkward between us?"

My friend rolls her eyes at me. "Were things weird with you guys yesterday?", she asks.

"No", I don't even have to think about it. "Kendall was so chill."

"Because sex to a man is just sex. He didn't offer anything else, so don't try to complicate things or read more into it. And if you feel yourself starting to fall for him, then just call it quits. You guys don't need to actually sit down and write a freakin' document. Just go to him when you want it and just hang out like friends like you always have. I mean, no one is making you do it. I'm sure that even Kendall wouldn't get mad if you declined his offer."

I have to give it to her; anytime I have an issue I can count on her to help me think it through and point out all the pros and cons, as well as giving her honest opinion instead of sugar coating shit and saying what she thinks I want to hear. "Okay", I nod.

Izzy's phone rings and I think deep and hard about the proposition, and by the time she hangs up from her conversation, I've come to a decision. I bite down on my lip anxiously, almost bouncing in my seat as I wait for her to focus her attention back to me. "I'm gonna do it", I say.

"You are?", she seems a bit stunned.

"Yeah".

"Good."

"But how should I tell him. I mean am I supposed to text him something lame like _**I want your dick**_?" I shake my head at how pathetic it sounds.

Izzy doesn't try to hide her sigh. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Just tell him you accept his deal", she reaches for her pepsi. "OR", a devious grin tugs at the corners of her mouth. "I could tell him for you. Or even tell Carlos and let him tell Kendall."

"No. No way", I respond hastily, not trusting what she would tell Kendall. God only knows she would say something that embarrasses me or that would make Mr. Knight change his mind. "It's no one else's business, I'll do it", I inform her and swirl a celery stick in the bleu cheese dressing.

...

I'm the last person at work to leave, which probably has something to do with the fact that I'm the owner's daughter, but I don't mind. It's nice to be able to relax for half an hour or so to start winding down, and being that it's a Monday, it was very packed or anything, it was an easygoing night. After giving one last check to make sure that everything is put away and that the lights are all off, I head to the exit and close the door behind me, slipping the key into place and turning it to lock up the establishment.

My shoes reverberating on the pavement is the only sound I hear besides cars passing my, which isn't much at one a.m., so when someone calls my name, I'm startled to say the least. I give a little jump and fling my hand over my rapidly beating heart when my eyes zone in on Kendall leaning against the wall. Somehow his presence should calm me, should bring me some kind of relief, but my heart seems to hammer against my ribcage even more than a second ago, and butterflies swarm my stomach. "Hey Kendall", I greet him after taking in a long breath and skimming over his appearance with my eyes. He looks awfully sexy in his signature skinny jeans, a white v-neck, and a backwards snapback. I've always thought him handsome with a hat on.

"Sorry", he looks kinda sheepish under the street light.

"No worries", I wave him off. "I just wasn't expecting you to be there", I giggle nervously and take a few steps closer to the parking lot.

"Yeah", he sighs and then rubs at the back of his neck as I approach. "Umm-", he starts but I cut him off.

"Yes", I nod once. "About your proposition", I add and begin fidgeting with my fingers. What if he had time to think it over and decided it was a stupid idea and he wants to take it back? Fear strikes at me and the next thing I know, I'm babbling. "I mean if you still wanted to...cuz if not that's cool. I know the whole thing is weird and maybe you were still drunk or something. I don't know."

I sneak a peek through my lashes and see my best friend smiling at me. "Okay", he says and licks his lips slowly. I can't seem to turn away. Acknowledgement flickers in his eyes and he stalks toward me purposefully and mashes his lips into mine, clutching onto the hair at the back of my head. As soon as his tongue enters my mouth, full blown lust courses through my body and my hands grip onto his arms and I don't allow myself to think. I get lost in his kiss until he pulls away, almost panting.

"Your place or mine?", he asks, his voice husky and laced with passion, his hungry hand squeezing my side.

I slant my head to the side and savor his taste in my mouth for another few seconds, feeling as if I'm going to burst into flames at any moment. "Yours is closer", I tell him.

"Let's go", he grabs my hand and tugs me along with wide strides, barely giving me a chance to stay close.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I really need to start getting my writing done earlier in the day or taking naps lol because again, I am dead ass tired...maybe it's PMS. Yeah I know, TMI and no one cares. My bad, I tend to ramble on and on and on when I'm tired. And I'm too tired again for shout outs, so feel free to tell me how back I suck hehe. Also, tumblr has something to do with it, too. If I wasn't always hanging out on there I would have more time for writing, so my apologies. And I guess I'm kinda smutted out since I've done a bit of writing today, so don't expect much from here. Blah, my eyes are trying to close, I am so done. Nighty night peeps, love you all and thank you so much for all the reviews/favorites/followers, it means A LOT!**

I follow Kendall back to his house, my hands shaking the whole time while my stomach ties itself in knots. I'm having second thoughts about sleeping with Kendall again. I mean, yeah that kiss we just had was amazing and got my hormones raging, but now I'm wondering if I should do it. The first time it happened was a complete accident. I've had a few minutes to calm down and now my nerves are getting to me. It's not like I'm gonna fall head over heels in love with my best friend from this arrangement, because face it; I already like him somewhat. But...but I'm just being a chicken and I should just man up like Izzy said. Hell, my panties aren't damp for nothing.

I take a deep breath after parking my car behind Kendall's truck, and trailing after him as he walks up to his front door. He seems pretty chill, while my heart's about to beat right out of my chest, and I'm not sure I can go through with this after all. Once the door is unlocked, he holds it open for me, which I step through slowly, trying to collect myself.

Kendall turns the light on and I look around, everything's still the same as it was last time. "Do you umm, want something to drink?", he offers.

"No, I'm good. It's kind of late", I say while twisting my foot around.

I'm frozen in place when I feel Kendall close the distance between us. He pushes my hair back off of my shoulders and runs his fingertips down the side of my neck, drawing out a sigh from me. Ironically, I begin to relax into his touch, and he smiles, studying my face. Oh God, I pray silently, I hope he isn't about to start handing out compliments right now because I'll turn into a puddle right at his feet. He leans down, his eyes focused on my lips, and I remind myself to breathe as I observe his face moving closer and closer to mine, until his breaths bounce off of my cheeks. Instinctively, I close my eyes and slant my head, bracing myself for the moment when his lips meet mine.

When they do, it's like an explosion goes off in my head. Kendall pulls back the slightest bit and runs his tongue along my lower lip before sucking at it. My hands make their way to his sides, needing something to hold on for this wild ride. I knead his flesh with my fingertips as he caresses my lips, and slips his tongue inside my mouth finally. I let out a gasp, but quickly catch myself and start moving my tongue around his, as his hands slide down my sides and to the hem of my shirt. I'm not prepared for the sensations that are running through my body right now, and goosebumps pop up all over.

The kiss changes from soft and slow to hard and fast, as Kendall's hands cover my breasts and massages them through my bra, making me wonder how I could have even been the least bit apprehensive about this earlier. I skim my hands up his arms, giving a squeeze here and there, exploring his muscles. His fingers find my nipples, and he breaks the kiss to press his forehead to my neck, twisting and pulling at the hardened buds. My hands travel up the inside of his shirt, to his back and I rub my hands up and down while a noise of pleasure escapes from my lips every so often.

My shirt is taken off, then Kendall's. I watch with hungry eyes as he sheds his pants as well, left in nothing but his plaid boxers. I don't feel awkward as I do the same, keeping myself in only my undergarments. For seconds we just stare at eachother, taking it all in, the whole time I'm fighting myself to stay in place, not to attack him. The person standing in front of me is the most beautiful man I've ever seen, and I can't remember ever wanting someone this desperately before. The way his underwear is bulging out lets me know he wants this as much as I do.

Slowly, we both take a step forward at the same, moving closer to eachother. The next step has us engaged in another heated kiss. Kendall reaches for my back, unhooking my bra and cups my breasts when they're free, swooping down to let his mouth cover one, then the other while he swirls his tongue around the nipple and then gently nips before sucking. I tip my head back against the wall, feeling an inferno blaze through me, and let my hand wander down to his manhood. I wrap my hand around the hard-on, feeling his thickness, and moving my hand up and down his length. He growls and nips harder at my breasts while a hand maneuvers it's way down to my panties, barely dipping a fingertip inside the waistband and tenderly dragging it back and forth until I arch my back into him.

"No Kendall", I don't even recognize my voice as I take his hand and put it right where I want it, directly over my center. "Don't tease."

He chuckles and circles the wet spot at the front of my panty, making me open my legs wider and lean the upper half of my body against the door weakly. Kendall's palm presses against me, and I gasp and begin trembling with need, feeling like I no longer have control of my body. Kendall flicks his tongue against my lips, mimicking what I want him to do down below as I slide the down the wall and he helps lower me to the floor, climbing over me.

Intoxicated by lust, I grab for Kendall's head and bring it down to mine, taking control of the kiss and his hand makes a path down my abdomen to the inside of my panties. Flesh on hot moist flesh elicits a pleasurable cry from me, and my nails bite into the skin of his shoulders when he inserts two of his fingers inside of me.

Everything gets hazy, and my mind seems to shut off, blanking out everything but the bliss, and the next thing I know, I'm squirming around, helping the dimpled blonde to take off my panties. In no time, I'm moaning out as Kendall pushes into me. He starts with slow, short strokes, and begins thrusting deeper each time, until it's impossible for me to take any more of him and the urgency increases. Kendall slams into me, bringing me to my peak and following directly behind. He mouths my neck while riding out his high and then pulls out, collapsing next to me.

I stretch my arms out above my head, keeping my eyes closed to allow the euphoria to last as long as possible. It ends way too soon though, when I hear Kendall laughing next to me. Just like I would any other time, I look over to him to see the cause, but am caught off guard by the sight of his naked body. I turn back hastily and question him. "What?"

"I can't believe we just did that. I mean, we weren't drunk or high or anything. And it was incredible", he spouts.

I agree but I don't say anything. Instead, I try to laugh, but it gets stuck in my throat and all of a sudden I realize how naked I am and feel overexposed to his eyes. "It's late. I really need to get home", I respond. Without bothering to look at him again, I scamper around getting dressed with lightning speed and try to fix my hair some. Thank God I live alone.

Kendall doesn't say anything, giving me my privacy and respect, but when my hand wraps around the doorknob, he stops me by grabbing my wrist. "Wait Valentine", he gives a little tug, making me face him.

"What?", I ask, too humiliated to look him in the face. He just saw me completely naked, he knows how I am during sex...in a way it feels odd.

"You're not mad at me are you? Like you don't regret it?", he asks.

I sigh and close my eyes, taking a moment to think it over before giving him a little smile. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't regret it", I tell him honestly. The truth is that I don't know how to feel. I'm confused. I don't know if I could do this again. Already it seems as if things are different between us, even though Kendall is acting the same as always; which means that I'm the one with the issue.

I breeze through the next moments of conversation, not even remember what we're talking about as I walk away, feeling as if my world's about to get tipped upside down.

**A/N Oh God, the end is so retarded I made myself laugh. I feel like it doesn't make sense. Sleep Tiff = WTF**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Ugh, I feel like total crap for leaving you guys hanging on this for so long. Not gonna lie, tumblr has kinda sucked me in, plus you know, Easter, so yeah. And this is Spring Break, the kiddies will be home with me so I don't know how much writing I'll get to do. And as always, a BIG thank you to you wonderful reviewers, you are the best. And seriously, you'll never know how much each review means to me! SHOUT OUTS ****SuperSillyStories****- naps huh? I do that everyday already, no lie lol. PMS just kicks my ass...blah I sound so bitchy lol. Anyway, Yes, I wrote a lot of smut *blush* but hey, it's all good :) Yeah Kendall is totally chill and giggling after sex, bad thing is, I can picture it really happening :P ****suckerforlovestory****- eah, poor Val, she's so confused bless her heart. Aww thanks, I try to update at least every two days but...I turned into a slacker :) ****ValentineZombie****- haha isn't is crazy how like, your emotions are all over the place, while Kendall is totally chill? Ugh, it's just one of those Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus things maybe? Lol Rest, rest is good but lately I'm in a hibernating mood...not good lol :) ****CarlosLover****- ahaha! Kendall surely is hotter than the sun! But I guess being in that situation would jerk for feelings around, I just try to imagine how I would feel if I was Val lol, maybe I'm not doing such a good job. :) ****Kachilee07****- yeah, I've never been in a fwb sitch, so I'm like being an actress here and putting myself in her shoes...don't know how right or wrong I am, but the last chapter shows how bipolar/indecisive I am! Haha :) ****annabellex2****- yeah, poor Valentine is all confused and mixed up. Ugh, I would probably pull out all my hair if I was in that sitch! Glad you're liking this though! :) ****DeniseDEMD****- hehehe awww, you are so sweet :) I was a busy bee that day wasn't I? :P ****Logan's Honey Pie****- yea, weird vibes fo sho! But ehh idk, friends with benefits seems so complicated, i don't think I could do it personally...guess we'll have to see what happens! :) ****Emy . Elle****- ikr Ha :) Well I'm glad you were honest and said the end sucked, but like Val just feels weird yano? Idk, I just kinda imagined how I would feel and wrote it like that. But honestly, I love when you give your opinion, whether it's good or bad, because a lot of people just don't lol. :) ****Tokala****- aww well thank you so much! Yeah I tried my best to put myself in Val's shoes and see how I would feel...and that's what I came up with lol. Yes, I had an account on tumblr before, no idea why I ever got rid of it lol. :) ****FangedCutie****- Aww thanks. I did get some much needed sleep :) I hope your Easter was good and that everything is good with you and your family! miss ya!**

"You want another glass?", Izzy asks, coming to stand in the entranceway of the living room. I'm hanging out at her place tonight.

"Please", I say and hold my flute out, too lazy to get up from my seat on the couch, where I'm sitting comfortably Indian style.

My friend laughs and brings the bottle in, refilling my glass. "So are you gonna finally tell me what's got you so on edge?"

"The whole sleeping with Kendall thing", I admit to my latina friend, desperately in need of some girl talk. Between us working different shifts and school and stuff, we haven't gotten to talk in a few days.

"What's wrong?", she furrows her eyebrows and sits back down across from me, taking the magazine from my lap and tossing it onto the coffeetable.

"I don't know", I take a sip of the wine, closing my eyes as the smooth taste slips down my throat. "Like Kendall was waiting for me outside of work Monday night and I told him that I agree to the deal. Then he kissed me and I was turned on beyond belief. It's like a crazy electric current began flowing through me when he touched me. Then I followed him to his house, with doubts in my mind, but as soon as he grabbed me again, I was okay. And it was good. The sex once again was incredible, but I felt really awkward when we were done. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I mean, it's amazing when we're together, but then...I don't know, I kinda feel used", I blurt all this out and then fling myself into the back of the couch, covering my face with my hands. "I'm so confused!"

Isadora laughs and pats my arm. "Look Val, if you're not okay with doing it, then stop. There's no need to continue. Just be honest with Kendall."

"But what if he hates me?", I whine.

Izzy raises an eyebrow. "He won't hate you. Girl knock it off, he's your best friend. But I can see right now that you're gonna be the type to fall in love. I'm telling you now that you need to quit this before you get yourself in too deep."

I sigh, knowing she's right. I mean, my thoughts literally keep turning back to Kendall. I think of how it was both times we were getting it on. And then I always find myself daydreaming off like what would happen if one time we did our business and then he asked me to go to the movies or something, and then he held my hand. I know it's stupid, Kendall would never fall for me, but girlie emotions get in the way and I agree with Izzy. But then do I wanna go back to my miserable life of not getting laid? Ugh, whoever thought of the whole friends with benefits thing should be tortured and killed, seriously.

"You're right", I groan, and drink a good amount of the red liquid in my glass.

"But he's still treating you the same right?"

"Yup", I nod. "He still texts me and all like always. Like, why isn't it such a big deal to him Izzy? I'm spazzing out about it, can't get him off my mind, and I keep bouncing back and forth with my thoughts like a ball. I'm gonna be put in a mental institution soon!", I wrap both of my hands around her arm and shake her with frustration.

"Sweetie", she gives me a serious look. "Men and women are built differently. Us ladies have these emotions that fuck with us. We think with our heads and our hearts, whereas men only think with one thing. I say just get out of the deal now before it gets too late and your friendship is at stake. Some people just aren't cut out for the friends with benefits thing, and it's already stressing you out. You'll still be friends, and in two years the both of you will be laughing about the whole thing and joking about how eachother looks naked."

"Maybe. Whatever, this is depressing. So tell me what's new in your life", I just wanna think about something else. I'll call Kendall later and back out of the deal. And you know what, he's not the type of person to get mad, and if he does, oh well. I just can't take it anymore.

"I met this hot guy named Keith last night and he's taking me out Friday", her eyes are sparkling and I'm so happy for her.

"That's awesome. What are you gonna do?", I ask.

"Dinner and a movie", my friend all but bounces up and down excitedly on the couch. "Oh my God, just wait until you see him Valentine, you are gonna freak out", she squeals and kicks her legs, making me giggle. "He's like six three with blonde hair and the prettiest blue eyes. And he was so nice. He's from Kentucky and has one of those accents, it's sexy."

I laugh at her. "So what are you gonna wear?"

"Mmm", she presses her lips together. "Not sure yet. I was kinda thinking a dress, but then I don't wanna be too fancy, you know? What do you think about like a pair of jeans, flats, and a nice blouse with maybe a cardigan or something?"

"That could work", I comment, thinking it over. "Oooh and you should totally let me do your hair and make-up!", I suggest. I just love doing that kind of stuff.

"I could do that", she tilts her head to the side and jumps off the couch, taking my hand. "C'mon, let's go raid my closet and figure it all o-"

The both of us turn towards the front door when it comes open, cutting off Izzy's sentence. I'm surprised to see Carlos, Kendall, and a brunette female walk through the door, the girl holding onto Kendall's arm. "Oh hey", Carlos greets us and continues walking through the living room. "I just forgot something in my bedroom."

"Okay", Isadora nods at her brother who she lives with. Their parents passed away several years ago, so the siblings stick together since they're both still single and relatively young. I see her eyes widen as she notices Kendall. "Umm hi", she clasps her hands together in front of her. "You guys are welcome to sit down if you want."

"Hey Iz, hey Val", Kendall says to us and heads toward the couch. "This is Teresa."

"Hi", I say shyly and wave my hand, feeling my chest constricting tightly at the sight of my best friend with another woman. I know we're not dating, but the ugly head of jealousy is rearing it's head at me.

"What are you guys up to?", Kendall sits up and sets his hands on his knees, and I can't resist the urge to skim my eyes over the raven haired girl sitting next to him. She gorgeous and is wearing a purple dress, that's not too revealing, nor too short. Of course everything about her is perfect and I suddenly find myself agitated.

"We're just hanging out", Izzy answers. "How about you guys?"

Carlos chooses this moment to return from his room and jump into the conversation. "We're going bowling, you guys wanna go?"

Kendall snorts and shakes his head before looking at me. "Nah, Val will probably just go home and fix herself a cup of tea and read a book until she falls asleep".

I don't know why, but this offends me, even if it is the truth; I had every intention of starting the brand new paranormal romance book I just bought yesterday. I was maybe even thinking about adding a bubble bath into the mix. But, a quick glance at Teresa shows the corners of her lips turning up and I decide to throw everyone off. I'm not gonna allow everyone to make fun of me, I'm tired of being gullible and everyone being able to gauge my next move before I make it. Plus, they make me sound dull and I am not boring. Tonight, I am so gonna make a statement.

"Actually", I sit up and tuck my hair behind my ears. "I think bowling sounds pretty fun".

...

"Strike again bitches", I throw my fists in the air after knocking down all of the pins and spin around with a big smile on my face. I am on fire; five strikes in a row! "What now?!", I walk back to where Kendall, Carlos, Teresa, and Isadora are sitting.

I get a fist bump from the Garcia siblings and Teresa, but Kendall gives me a narrowed eye look. "Suck a dick", I stick my tongue out at him, knowing that he's seething inside right now because I'm beating him. We kinda made a bet, because we're just so competitive like that, and it looks like I have a good chance of being the winner since my score is significantly higher. I sit down gracefully and blow him a kiss before taking a sip of my Long Island Iced Tea. Right now, his favorite flannel shirt is at stake if I win. However if the dimpled blonde wins, I have to buy him the Les Paul guitar he's been eying in the music store. A simple enough wager if you ask me, because that flannel looks so much better on me anyway.

Of course, all eyes are on Kendall as he picks up his ball and throws it down the lane. Unfortunately for him, it goes into the gutter about halfway down, and he turns around with a scowl on his face. I just suck up some more of my drink through the straw while I watch Teresa pat him on the knee, and smile up at him and mouth, "Good try". Ugh, she's so nice it kills me. Why can't she just give me on valid reason to hate her other than the fact that she might possibly be Kendall's next girlfriend. Whoa, that thought has me ordering another drink, the same of course, which turns to the thought that this could be the end of our friends with benefits arrangement. To be fair, yes, I did come to the decision to cut it off myself, but I don't like feeling like I could be tossed to the side at any given moment. I finish my second drink in less than five minutes and am ordering another, to which Izzy tells me to slow down on.

Everything turns into a blur and the last thing I remember before leaving the bowling alley is being congratulated for winning, and doing a victory dance, which ends shortly by me getting thrown over Kendall's shoulder and ushered out to his car. To the back seat to be exact because you know, he has to give Teresa a ride home as well and she gets to ride shotgun to my disappointment.

Even in my totally not sober state, I cheerfully wish her a good night and tell her that it was nice meeting her. Thirty seconds later when Kendall presses his lips against hers, I change my mind. I wish I didn't meet her because then I wouldn't want to gouge her eyes out with a wine opener; I also hope she has a crappy night, like maybe she'll trip going upstairs and bust her face up or something. Nothing too bad, though, because then I might feel guilty.

I climb to the front seat of the car, and just as we're exiting the driveway, I decide that I am gonna have one last night with Kendall, because...well I just am. He looks so sexy driving, and I'm drunk and horny. I pull my shirt off over my head and toss it onto his lap, watching his eyes widen and he turns toward me quickly.

"What are you doing?", he asks.

"I", I get up onto my knees on the seat and lean over to nibble on his neck. "Think we should find somewhere to pull over", I raise my eyebrows and let my hand trail up his thigh.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I promised myself I would get this out today and umm, between working on this and another one-shot and getting caught up in a movie, I just now finally got this finished. It's Spring Break here this week and I've got seven kids to take care of, so my time is very limited as well. Being that it's almost midnight and I'm not feeling the greatest today, I'm skipping shout-outs. So sorry, i really had all the intentions of writing them, but I got sidetracked...so I hope you guys enjoy this and I had a hard time tying up the end of the chapter but...whatever lol. :)**

I open my eyes when I wake up, confused for all of ten seconds as to why the ceiling is white instead of lavender before I come to the conclusion that I'm not in my own room. I sit up, trying to remember what happened last night, and the last thing I remember is propositioning Kendall in the car and him turning me down. Okay so I was a bit drunk, but I was just trying to have fun and be adventurous. I pouted when he said no, but figured he would change his mind when we got back to his place, but all my best friend did was toss me a t-shirt of his along with a bottle of water, and put me to bed. I cried myself to sleep, hurt at his denial. I mean, we've slept together a couple of times already, so why would it have been such a big deal to do it again last night?

I rub my eyes, feeling like shit, with a typical hangover of a pounding head and churning stomach. Listening intently for a moment, I don't hear anything and I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping that Kendall already left for work since it's Thursday. Of course that means I don't have a ride home, but hey I have friends and I can always call a cab if I have to. I slip out of the bed and pick my discarded jeans up off the floor and slide them on, followed by my flip-flops, then I grab my shirt and ball it up, shoving it inside my messenger bag and carrying it out to the kitchen.

I drop it on the counter and head to the cupboard to fix a cup of tea, but am stopped short when Kendall appears in the doorway. "Morning", he greets me, making me jump slightly and spin around quickly. Damn, I thought he wasn't here.

I roll my eyes at him, letting him know I'm not happy with him. I mean, did he not wanna sleep with me because he had a date thingie with Teresa? Maybe now he'll want to call our deal off because of her, and that makes me upset. I know we're still just friends and I have no claims on him, but my feelings are hurt and I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of ending things; I'll do it. My heart grows heavy with a different thought, maybe the sex isn't as good for him as it is for me. I don't know, all I know is that I've been confused since the whole thing started, but now I'm sad to see it end. And I feel like a total dumb ass because of what happened last night. I'm still hurt and humiliated at the rejection. "I was just leaving", I state monotonously, brushing past him.

"Oh just give me a few minutes, I'll change and then drive you home. Besides you can't leave without my shirt, since you won the wager fair and square", he ignores the icy tone of my voice, or just didn't pick up on it.

Without bothering to turn around, I finish a text to Izzy, begging her to pick me up from Kendall's ASAP and send it. "Forget about it", I say and open the door. "And I already have a ride, so don't worry about it." I don't know why I feel close to tears, but I do, and I don't wanna break down in front of Kendall.

"Are you mad at me or something?", he asks as I step out onto the porch. I don't bother to answer, not wanting to have this discussion with him, and just close the door behind me and sit out on the bench waiting for Izzy to come.

For some idiotic reason, I think he'll stay inside and just leave me alone, but that's not what best friends do. When best friends have a fight, they talk it through and make everything alright again. No sooner than I plop down and rest my head in my hands, do I see Kendall step out onto the porch. To be fair, I don't really have the right to say anything because it is his house. "Valentine", he sits next to me. "Can you just let me explain about last night?"

"There's nothing to explain, I understand everything", I tell him, keeping my gaze down the street, hoping that Izzy appears within the next minute before things can get heated between Kendall and I. I understand that I'll never be girlfriend material for Kendall Knight, and that our friendship might just be hanging on by only a thread right now. I'm not really good at holding in or hiding my emotions and I'm not ready to have this talk with him.

"Val", he sets his hand on my knee, but I jerk away.

"I said it's fine", I raise my voice. "I don't wanna talk about it, okay? I don't feel good and I just wanna go home so please leave me alone".

Kendall gives a very loud sigh, and I get up and walk down to the curb, sitting down to get rid of the dizziness that washes over me and rub at my temples. I rub my arms to take the chill off, even though it's not exactly cold and just look around for a couple of minutes when I hear a car, and get excited when I see Carlos's sister's red Ranger heading my way. I stand up and wave my arm to her and wait for her to pull over right in front of me and I climb in, buckling up the seatbelt and closing the door.

Before the latina can pull away, there's a knock on the passenger window and I turn my head to come face to face with Kendall. I let out an audible "UGH", when I see him holding up my bag. Damn it, I really do need that considering my keys are in it. I put the window down and mutter, "thanks", watching Kendall's handsome face turn into a frown as I snatch iit from his hands and push the button for the window to go back up. "Go, now", I instruct a very curious looking Isadora, and fold my arms over my chest as my friend complies.

...

I'm sauntering back to the back room from dropping off two beers to the men hanging out by the dartboard when I'm caught by Kendall stepping in front of me. "Hey", he says sheepishly. "You still mad?"

I chew the corner of my lip and shake my head back and forth shyly. "No, and I'm sorry". I step beside him and wave my hand, motioniong for him to follow me because I only have one person working with me tonight and the ice needs to be refilled. I walk to the machine and begin scooping frozen chunks into a bucket. "I guess I just overreacted, I felt like an idiot for getting drunk and crazy."

Kendall tilts his head to the side with an amused expression on his face and I can't help the spark of arousal that shoots through me when I get a good look at how incredible he looks wearing a black t-shirt with a black and green flannel over top of it that makes his eyes pop. "I thought maybe I did something wrong", he confesses.

"No, I was just emotional. Maybe it's PMS", I blurt out, not knowing what else to say as nervousness makes it's way through my veins. I did a lot of thinking today and true, maybe I did overreact this morning; perhaps I was being too sensitive. And my sober mind reminded me that I wanted to call it quits as far as the whole friends with benefits thing.

"No worries, but umm I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out tomorrow. Like catch a movie or something, we have't done that in a while", he suggests.

"Actually", I place the scoop back into the ice thing and stand up, stretching out my achy back from being bent over so long. "Jacob and I are indulging in a Saw movie marathon tomorrow, so maybe another day?" We finally talked at school today and decided to try to hang out.

I watch Kendall's eyebrows furrow together as he takes in the news. "Yeah sure. Ummm...", he trails off.

I use this awkward silence to my advantage to tell him I change my mind about our arrangement. Our friendship is too valuable to keep getting my feelings involved. "Kendall", I push my bangs to the side. "I think we should put a stop to...sleeping together."

"Really?", shock taints his voice. "I thought it was working out good for us."

I take a deep breath, wondering what I should say, without lying, or telling my best friend that I'm basically in love with him. "I-...well-"

"Is it because of Teresa?", he asks next, making the blood rush to my face.

Before I can think of a response, Andrea, the other person working with me tonight comes rushing in. "Val, there's a fight out on the floor. We need you to come out."

"Okay", I reply and without another thought to Kendall, I run out to the main room.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N First, I just wanna apologize about the delay in updating. Last week was Spring Break, I was sick, and then my cat had babies on Friday so it's been a long, trying past few days and I had no spirit to write. I actually started writing this Friday before all the mayhem and I got so off-track, I don't even remember what I was trying to do here. I feel like it jumps around alot, sorry in advance. I am skipping shout-outs cause I just don't have it in me, I promised myself I would get this out tonight, and yeah, here it is. Next chapter will be better, I promise. Sorry guys!**

"So how was your date?", Isadora asks me, tucking her hair behind her ears as she flops down onto the couch in the basement at James's house where we're just hanging out. It's actually just us two ladies, Carlos, and James. James is practicing playing one of their songs on the drum while Izzy's brother is messing around with the keyboard.

"It was good. We watched four of the Saw movies, noshed on pizza, soda, chips, and ice cream", I answer her. It went really well. Jacob is a sweet guy and is pretty funny. Being at his place told me a bit more about him, but I can't complain about anything I saw or did there.

"Yeah? Did he ever ask why things didn't work out for you at the party?", she asks innocently, but I have to lean over and tap her arm, tipping my head to the guys so she gets the hint. They still don't know that Kendall and I slept together, and I'm hoping it stays that way.

"Well", I lower my voice. "I kinda made up a little white lie to save face, and told him that I started throwing up in the bathroom and that's why he couldn't find me. He said he gave up looking for me after a while and just left." I feel bad for lying, but I couldn't just tell him the truth; that I slept with Kendall thinking that it was him.

"But oh my gosh", I grab her hands and tip my head back to hide the squeal trying to escape. "After we cleared that up, we had a few giggles about it, and then Jacob went all Hollywood on me."

"Tell me what he did", Izzy shrieks, squeezing my hand excitedly.

"I had been sitting on the opposite end of the couch and he crawled over to me, then pushed my hair out of my face. He cupped my chin and asked if he could kiss me."

"Oh you guys are so gross", James yells out, obviously overhearing our totally girlie conversation.

"Oh shut up, maybe you could learn something besides 'Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am!", I retort and face Izzy, rolling my eyes at his lame comment. Yeah, James Diamond can get any girl he wants from his striking looks alone, but he has no idea what it takes to keep a woman, or what a member of the oppopsite sex needs.

"Hey it works just fine for me", he shrugs.

"And that's why you'll die lonely Mr. Diamond. Good looks will only take you so far in life, and you'll be taking viagra and giving yourself a handjob for the second half of your life", Isadora rags on him, giving me a high five.

"Yeah yeah, we'll see about that. I bet you'll be coming right over to take care of my needs sweetheart. I'll still be fine, fit, and fabulous when I'm fifty", he winks at Isadora, making Carlos slap his arm.

"Dude that's my sister, not cool."

"Oh yeah, sorry", he smirks and nods his head at Izzy, making her giggle.

"Anyway", the dark haired beauty turns back to me. "So tell me what happened next."

"Well duh, with eyes as blue as his all I could do was nod. He kissed me, letting his lips linger for a few seconds before pulling away."

"How was it?"

"Well it was a kiss, but he has these like amazingly soft lips", I gush. "But you know what he said after that?"

"What?", her brown eyes are wide with curiosity.

"He said he's kinda glad that we didn't go through with things at the party because he said I'm a really cool chick and maybe he would have lost interest in me. You know, if I gave it up right away."

"Wow", she raises an eyebrow. "Maybe things worked out for the best then."

"Yeah, I think so", I nod my head. "So the rest of the date went good with us cuddling and watching the movies, sharing a few kisses here and there. It was totally casual and chill, I really enjoyed myself."

Izzy leans in close. "So your feelings for Kendall kinda diminished?", she whispers.

"No", I answer honestly without even having to think about it. "I still like him, but I think if I spend more time with Jacob then I'll forget about Kendall, you know? Kinda like it's just a he's only the man giving me attention thing right now?"

"That's true", my friend nibbles on her bottom lip. "So you've already told Kendall you quit the sex?"

Okay, so I haven't exactly gotten around to telling Isadora about trying to sleep with him the other night when I was drunk, but since I did tell him last night, then it's out in the open right? "Yeah, I did. And he didn't spazz all on me on anything. But he did as-"

"IZ!", Carlos's voice interrupts us and my head flies in his direction. "I just got a call. We need to leave now." He's already sliding his hoodie over his head.

"Oh okay", she shrugs at me like she has no clue what's going on and stands up, not wanting to test the impatience in Carlos's voice. He's interning at the police department with his uncle and this is most likely tied to that. "I'll call you later", my friend says and follows her brother out the door.

"See you later", I call after them.

"So, I guess you'll be leaving soon then?", James asks.

"What? You got a hot date or something?", I ask him snarkily.

"No, I have no plans actually Valentine, so like if you wanna hang out and watch a movie or something, I think it'd be cool", Mr. Diamond raises his eyebrows.

Something tells me this has something to do with Izzy, that he's gonna try to get me to talk to her for him, but I guess it does beat sitting at home alone reading about Christian Grey or messing on the 'net. "What the hell", I pull a shoulder up to my chin and plop back down onto the couch, propping my feet up on the coffeetable. "What ya got?"

"Go pick something", the handsome but conceited brunette points to the tower holding DVD's and says, "I'll run upstairs and get some drink and snacks."

"Kay", I reply and get up to start shuffling through his DVD's, coming to settle on StrangeLand. I mean, who doesn't like this kind of fucked up shit, as long as it never really happens to me right?

James returns to the basement several minutes later with a large bowl of popcorn, sodas, and a bag of filled twizzlers; my night is made. He sets the grub down on the coffeetable and sits a few feet away from me, and we watch the movie, eating and making small talk.

It's only the middle of the movie when James's loud voice interrupts the part where the woman is getting her mouth sewed shut by saying, "Dibs on the last twizzler!"

With lightning speed, I reach out and grab the last one which happens to be red and bite the end. Hell no this guy is NOT getting the last one, I am the premenstrual one right now and I will fight someone over candy. "Hey", James pouts and I just laugh while taking another bite of the candy until he gets up from the couch, hovering over me, and all my instincts tell me to run.

I leap over the back of the sofa, falling on my knees and attempt to get up when James appears in front of me and pushes me backwards, climbing on top of me. Not willing to give up, I shove as much of the twizzler as I can in my mouth before James grabs my hands and holds them together above my head, causing me to start giggling. I don't think anything of it when James swoops his face down and bites the part of the licorice that didn't make it into my mouth and suddenly the lights come on and there are footsteps coming down the carpeted basement steps. "The hell?!", Kendall yells, looking down at James and I. "Are you trying to sleep with him, too? Oh my gosh Val", his face shows repulsion and he shoves a hand through his head.

James gets up off me and holds a hand out for me to get up, to which I gladly accept and stand up, pulling my shirt down back over my jeans. I don't get a chance to reply when James pipes up. "Dude", he throws his hands out in front of him. "I wasn't doing anything but fighting over candy. I know you two have your little deal and I ain't trying to get in your way."

"What?"!, this word escapes my mouth so unexpectedly and loud that it makes me jump. I fix my eyes on Kendall, who's hands are in his pockets and he's rocking on the balls of his feet. "First, you think I'm trying to fuck James, which would never happen in a million years, let me just say that", I throw my hands on my hips in anger. "Is that what you think? That I sleep around? That's a load of shit asshole", I don't know why but his words just seem to have gotten to me and hurt my feelings.

My dimpled blonde best friend opens his mouth to say something, when the meaning of James's sentence come slamming into me full force. "You told him we were sleeping together?", I scoff. "We agreed not to tell anyone".

"It kinda slipped", Kendall's face falls and he takes a step towards me, pissing me off.

"No. Don't come near me. I can't even trust you anymore and now you think I'm a whore", I shake my head, allowing everything to sink in. Our friendship really has turned to shit. "We are not friends anymore, Kendall." I stalk over to the recliner and snatch my jacket off the back of it and head to the stairs. "Goodnight James, thanks for everything", I call out and then ascend the steps, feeling like my chest is on fire.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Hey guys! So I'm in a much better mood today and not too tired for shout outs Woo-Hoo! I truly do feel bad for skipping out on them so often, but life sometimes ties ya up. I've also been forgetful in thanking you lovely readers and reviewers for reviewing, favoriting me, and following me, so THANK YOU! It sure does help make my writing world go 'round. SHOUT OUTS ****SuperSillyStories****- Haha, Isadora is awesome huh? Yeah Kendall totally blew upon her for dumb shit AND yeah, he's an ass for blabbing about their 'deal' hehe. Kendall may not be the best when it comes to women, but he's fucking sexy as hell, and that makes up for a lot! haha :) ****suckerforlovestory****- I dropped a drama bomb huh? haha yup James totally wanted that candy, have you had those filled twizzlers? They are the BEST! Aww thanks I am feeling somewhat better, I had a bit of depression cuz one of the baby kitties didn't make it and it broke my heart so bad, I was just messed up, but thank you :) ****paumichyy****- Lol, Izzy is pretty awesome huh? And Kendall, yeah he's kinda overreacting right? Wonder wth is wrong with him? :) ****kachilee07****- Yah, Isadora is a totally awesome chick. And yeah there just might be some sexual tension between her and James ;) And Kendall, gosh he's just putting a big target on his back, poor guy! I don't know who's worse when it comes to girls, Kendall or Logan bahahaha! :) ****btrfanfiction1516****- yeah, Kendall is not using his brain at all right now is he? ****ValentineZombie****- Glad you like the sassy duo :P You seriously know Strangeland? Ahhh I haven't seen it in a few years, and it just popped in my head when I was writing this yesterday, how awesome is that? Such a coincidence, great movie though. Am I sick for enjoying that kinda stuff? hehe Hell yeah on the twizzler, DO NOT take candy from me unless you want me to totally eat your face off! And Kendall blabbing to James, wth right? Maybe he has a reason *shrug* who knows? ;) ****Logan's Honey Pie****- bahaha so yeah things kinda got dramatic there huh? ****Tokala****- ha I am so glad you like Izzy, she's quite awesome if you ask me! And poor Valentine, yeah she has a lot to be upset for :) ****RandomWriter23****- yeah Kendall was a total dick! haha well if you're familiar with my writing, I try to update everyday or at least every other day, unless i'm extremely busy, BUT it looks like your wish is granted ;) ****Emy . Elle****- dude, James so chased Val for that candy, so get mad at him! Haha and yeah poor Val, Kendall is totally PMSing or something... :) ****DeniseDEMD****- Yah, it seems like everyone enjoyed the viagra comment haha. And things sure did get heated quickly, wonder what's going on? Haha. Oh thanks, I'm busy but i try to update often. It was hard cuz one of the baby kittens died and it totally broke my heart, I had a hard time functioning :( But I'm feeling much better now! ****OxyBtrSwag****- it sure was intense huh? ****SeraphinaCruz****- Yup Kendall's being a total douche right now, wonder what crawled up his ass and died? Haha Glad you seem to be enjoying this though :)**

I feel like I'm half dead when the alarm goes off, but I have to get up anyway. I was up until four a.m. in the emergency room at the hospital with my mom and didn't get much sleep. We were pretty worried and the doctor couldn't tell us much except for that he'd make it and that he would have to run some tests to see how much damage there is to my dad.

I set the alarm to make sure I get up with enough time to go check on my dad before going to my classes today. Rubbing my eyes, I slip out of bed and pad down the stairs, completely missing the last two stairs and fortunately catching myself against the banister before I could fall. I stumble into the kitchen and I'm so tired that I walk right past the person sitting at my kitchen table without thinking anything of it. I'm in the midst of pulling the coffee out of the cupboard when reality sinks in and I spin around quickly, meeting Kendall's stare. Great, as if enough shit isn't happening he has to be sitting here smiling. "What the fuck are you doing here?", I yell out of frustration and set to task at making coffee when footsteps approach and a cup of Starbuck's is held out to me. Okay, so this is already ready and I just might end up killing Mr. Knight in the few short minutes it takes for my caffeinated beverage to brew, so I'm doing him a favor by accepting the drink right?

"Thanks, but we're still not friends", I mutter and pull back the lid, taking a long drink that flows down my throat wonderfully. I sigh and have another sip, then quickly set the cup down on the counter and grab at the hem of my shirt, holding it down over my lady parts. Yeah, I'm guilty of sleeping in no panties. But then another realization slaps me across the face. I'm wearing Kendall's favorite plaid shirt, the one I won from our bet. The sneaky bastard snuck it into my bag that morning I left it at his house. And well, last night was rough and I just needed some...comfort. So I put it on and slept in it. It doesn't mean that I like him or anything, and it's not wrong.

His eyes light up and I see him trying to hide a smirk as he says, "Nothing to hide Val, I've seen it all before."

I flip him off while my face reddens and turn around to face him. "Let me repeat my question", I push my lips up to the side and roll my eyes. "Why are you in my fucking house right now?"

Kendall's face falls and he wanders back over to resume his seat at the table. "I heard about your dad and I wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing", he shrugs.

"Oh how nice", I can't seem to keep the sarcasm out of my voice considering this is the first time I've talked to/seen Kendall since the little incident at James's house. I cross my arms over my chest and tilt my head to the side. "You were worried about the little whore. Don't worry, I'm still alive. You're probably pretty shocked that I'm alone huh? I'm surprised you haven't run upstairs to see who's in my bed this morning."

"C'mon Valentine, I was just shocked and those words slipped out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying", he sighs and tries to give me the puppydog eyes, but I'm not biting.

"Yeah I guess that's what happened when you blabbed to James that we're fuck buddies, huh? Or were", I make it a point to enunciate the 'were' and grab the cup of coffee, heading towards the living room. I just don't wanna be around Kendall and I'm not gonna let him get away easy from his comment and not keeping our promise. "Oh, and you can leave my house now", I turn around to inform the blonde over my shoulder.

"Damn it Val, don't be like this", his voice raises and he follows me to the living room, making a good choice by sitting in the recliner across the room.

"I'm not being anything other than me, okay. I told you my dad is okay, I'll know more later after I go to the hospital", I refuse to look at him as I make sure to hold down the hem of the shirt and sit on my knees.

"Well I'm glad to hear that. Do you need anything? How's your mom holding up?", he continues.

"Like I said", I scoff. "I just woke up, I'll know more later", I don't do anything to push down my temper.

"Look, I'm sorry", his chin drops to his chest and he rubs his fingertips on his knees. "I shouldn't have said anything to James, and by the way you should also know that Logan and Carlos are aware of it, too."

"Yeah, I figured that", I snap and skim my thumbs over the heat of the cup.

"It seriously slipped out. You have to believe me when I say that". I stay silent, urging him to go on, and be his charming self. "My shirt looks really good on you."

Ahhh, this fucker knows giving me compliments always makes my anger melt. "Actually it's mine, because I won it, remember?"

He chuckles and shakes his head, his pink lips look so alluring as well as the dimples in his cheeks. "Yeah, you're right". He sits up and puts his elbows on his knees, pressing his hands together. "I'm also sorry for what I said at James's place. I know you're not a whore, Val. You don't sleep around. I just..."

Damn it, does he have to be so fucking cute?

"I guess I got a little jealous."

"Jealous? What?", my head flies up in disbelief and the words fly out.

"Yeah, I mean", he shrugs and sighs. "I don't like the thought of you sleeping with...any of my friends."

Ugh, he almost had me there. For a minute I thought he was gonna say that he doesn't like the thought of me sleeping with anyone else but him. My heart was ready to soar and fly right out of my chest, but it just comes crashing back down. Stupid right? I know, wishful thinking. "Well I wasn't...whatever Kendall", I give in. I know he didn't mean anything by it, I just took his words too harshly. "I'll forgive you this time, but if you say anything like that to me ever again, I will castrate you myself. With a dull razor blade and then throw salt and lemon juice into your wound."

His eyes widen and I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back a laugh. Kendall's not a mean person and I'm sure he has been kicking his ass for what he said. "Friends then?", he holds his hand out.

I let him hang for a minute and pretend to think about it while taking a sip of my coffee, but then I get up and walk over to him, placing my hand in his, giving it a shake. "Friends", I nod.

Without letting me go, Kendall stands up, his hand grazing my thigh, igniting an ember deep inside of me. "Just friends?", he asks.

"Y-yeah", I stutter, catching on to his meaning.

Disappointment flashes in his eyes, but he just moves his mouth closer to my ear. His breath is hot against my ear, stirring up arousal. "Why Val?"

"I-", I try to take a step back. "It's...", Kendall's hand skimming up my thigh makes my breath catch and all words leave my mind.

All I can do is just stand here frozen as his fingers ascend my thigh and continue up the inside of my shirt, pausing to caress my hipbone with his thumb. "Tell me why you don't want this", his voice is husky.

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "It's just not a good idea", I hear myself say, the complete opposite of what my body is telling me.

I feel my face heating up as my eyes zone in on my toes, trying to hide my emotions as Kendall's digits continue their trek up my side, his other hand still clutching mine. "Give me one good reason why it's not a good idea for us to continue sleeping together."

I close my eyes, feeling his lips making contact with my neck and bite back a gasp. He already knows what turns me on and what touches my body will react to, how to turn me into a weak, blubbering mess. It's so delicious I can't bring myself to tell him to stop. _Ten more seconds_, I tell myself. _And then I'll push him away._

Within those ten seconds, my shirt is unbuttoned and I'm seated on the couch with Kendall crouched in front of me, holding my legs open by my knees, my butt resting just on the edge. His tongue is playing across the tops of my breasts, a finger making a path up my bikini line, and back down to my folds. Moving his eyes from between my thighs, Kendall's smoldering gaze catches mine and I swallow hard, feeling a finger circling my entrance at an antagonizing pace. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open, they keep darting back and forth from his bottom plump lip which is tugged between his teeth and his mesmerizing eyes. "Still want me to stop?", he asks, finishing the sentence with a smirk.

The only word flowing through my mind right now is 'No', and it's not what my head wants to say, but it's the answer my heart is giving. _Just one last time_, a voice begs me from inside my head. Knowing I'm too far gone to even try to protest, I utter, "No", and fling my head back when Kendall's fingers slide inside of me effortlessly, eliciting a long, drawn out moan.

I close my eyes against the pleasure, intent on just feeling as he builds me up, pushing me over the edge with only his fingers, sucking on my nipples as I orgasm, enhancing the sensations.

Moments later when I'm able to open my eyes, Kendall is looking at me smugly, holding his hand out in invitation for me to take.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Okay, so it's not the world's most exciting chapter, but it is a filler, so yeah lol. Umm I will be honest and say I'm skipping shout outs tonight because it's late and ermm...umm...I spent a lot of time playing around on tumblr and procrastinated with this, so it's totally my fault...please don't hate me! Haha, but let me just thank you kind and wonderful reviewers, without you this wouldn't be possible! ALSO, I'm thinking of deleting my other story Bad Romance because the chick who requested it is MIA, but I wanted to ask your guys's feelings on that because I did get a lot of positive reviews on it. I will consider your opinions carefully, because after all, my writing is done for you lovelies :)**

Friday night comes around and everybody's trying to get together for a bonfire down at the beach, but I get a call from my mom saying one of the girls working is sick, so I have to cover for her. We learned that my dad had a mini stroke, luckily he didn't suffer many side effects from it; just muscle weakness and numbness over the right side of his body, which have all subsided by now. But still, mom's paranoid about leaving him alone and I don't blame her. Go figure though right? I was really looking forward to it, too, because I know Kendall would be joining us. Yup, we've slept together for the past three nights. No matter how many times I argue with myself saying it'll be the last time when we part, I can never keep my promise to myself. I mean, if you've heard Kendall's sleep raspy voice at midnight and could hear his legs restlessly moving around on the sheets, picturing him laying in just his boxers, or even naked, with his arm tucked behind his head; you wouldn't be able to deny yourself some of that either.

Completely against my will, I've fallen hard for my best friend and have come to the conclusion that I'm going to keep sleeping with him until either he or I get into a relationship. It's like someone saying they're going to quit smoking, without ever having tried to before. It's easier said than done and just doesn't work at the drop of a dime. Yeah it turns me green with envy when I see another girl looking at Kendall, or see him flirting with one, and as pathetic as it sounds, I'm going to take every morsel of time and attention I can get with him because I'm greedy and needy. Now that we've been doing this and have grown comfortable with the situation, per se, I don't know how I'll live without ever making love to Kendall again, but I guess I'll worry about crossing that bridge when I come to it. For now, he's mine and I'm going to take advantage of it. Fortunately, he seems just as cool as ever, not acting any different at all, so that makes it easier for me to try to keep my head straight, I guess. It's kinda sad though when I have to actually think back and pretend what it's like to be just a friend to Kendall and make myself 'act' that way. I had no right to catch feelings for him in the first place and I can live with myself as long as he never finds out. I mean, that would just be humiliating, and then he would probably just drop out of my life forever. It's not like I'm some creepy stalker always calling him, hitting him up for a booty call. It's actually the other way around. I make myself available when he hits me up.

I sigh as I force myself to get out of my comfy bed, content laying here soaking up Kendall's scent that still lingers on the sheets and pillowcases. Yeah, I've got it bad. But as they say, 'there's no rest for the wicked'. While blasting some Three Days Grace, I get dressed into my black work skirt and red off the shoulder top, completed with a pair of fishnet stockings and my combat boots. I curl my hair and put on make-up, then grab an extra outfit to change into after work to meet everyone at the beach, and head on out for a sucky night of work. Isadora texted me earlier, begging me to come chill and I can't very well say no, knowing that I could once again end up in Kendall's bed again...or him in mine.

The night flies by faster than I expected it to, even with Jacob stopping by. He sits at the bar and chats to me, keeping me company and for some strange reason I keep looking at him, wondering what I ever saw in him. I mean, he's not ugly but...he's not Kendall, either. His eyes are blue and incredible, but they're just not the green ones I've become accustomed to looking into. His lips are plump and soft, yet again, they're not the pink ones that drive me insane caressing my skin, or kissing me into oblivion. He's got a sleeve of tattoos on his right arm, and tats usually drive me crazy, but all I can think about are the ones decorating Kendall's body; the ones that give me so much pleasure tracing with the tip of my finger or my tongue. Jacob laughs at something the guy next to him says, and all I can see is Kendall laughing. Kendall's laughs always comes out loud, deep from the pit of his belly and his eyes crinkle in the most adorable way.

...

I stifle a yawn after getting out of my car, trudging through the sand toward the large fire on the middle of the beach surrounded by at least twenty people. I can hear music blaring from a radio somewhere and people laughing as I approach. Before my eyes can find Kendall, Isadora yanks my arm and drags me over to the cooler, pulling out a bottle of rum and pouring some into a red solo cup. "Guess what?", she practically shrieks as she hands me the cup.

"What?", I ask, wondering what the hell is going on.

"We played truth or dare earlier and James had to kiss me. Oh my God girl, it was fucking crazy. He sure knows what he's doing!", the latina is bouncing up and down. Okay so I realize now that she's quite a bit tipsy, thus informing me that she truly does have a thing for James like I suspected.

"Awesome!", I state and take a sip of the amber liquid, looking around for Kendall. "Just do me a favor and DON'T sleep with him tonight, okay?"

Izzy bats her eyelashes at me. "But-"

"But nothing", I intervene fast. "You are not sober and I will not have you end up doing something you might regret."

My friend tilts her head to the side and giggles, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Kendall is so in love with you yano", she slurs.

My heart leaps at the thought, but I have to remind myself that my friend is drunk. Still though, curiosity gnaws at my mind and I know if I ask her now while she's inebriated she won't be able to lie to me. "Did he tell you that?", I ask.

"No, I can just tell, though", her smile widens and her eyes light up, and a moment later I understand why; because James Diamond has approached us.

I drink some of my rum and jab a finger into his chest. "Look, if you have sex with her tonight, I will tell Carlos and he'll take care of you, making sure your body is never found." Okay so it might be a little extreme, but girls look out for eachother, and I'll totally do it.

He licks his lips and nods his head. "Okay", he responds.

I prop a hand on my hip, ready to tear him a new one when he holds his hands out in defense. "I have a lot more respect for her than to just fuck her while she's drunk", he says.

"You better, Diamond. Because I'm not playing", I retort, for safe measure.

"I know, I know. Tell you what, if anything happens between us, I'll let you shave my hair", he offers, putting me completely at ease.

I sigh and wave my hand towards Izzy, and say, "Proceed", before heading off to find someone else to chat to.

It kinda sucks because it's late so most of the people here are drunk and hooking up with others, almost everywhere I look, couples are making out or look like they're two seconds away from getting it on. Just my luck, I pour my second drink just to be met by some creeper named Aaron that we went to school with.

"Hey Val", he greets me.

"Umm, hi", I say, trying to sound not so pleased so he'll get the hint, but either he's had too much to drink or doesn't care, because he grabs my elbow. "Come on, there's a slow song playing. Dance with me". Aaron pretty much demands rather than asking as he slips an arm around my waist, not giving me a chance to protest.

"Hey-", I push at his chest but am interrupted by someone putting an arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek.

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you", Kendall interjects, towering over me and clenching his teeth together, making the muscle of his jaw stick out as he glares at the other male.

"Yeah umm", Aaron lets go of me and takes a few steps back with wide eyes. "I forgot I was supposed to go dance with...", his voice trails off and saunters away, making me laugh.

"I could have handled myself you know", I tip my head back to look at Kendall.

"I know, but I was looking for you", the dimpled blonde's eyes drop to the ground and then back up. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to dance since you know, everybody else is pretty much paired up."

Hmm, to spend some time in Kendall's arms, or not; that is not a hard decision to make. I don't know why but he I turn into a big marshmallow when I'm around him and get all girlie. "Yeah, okay", I try to sound as casual as I can, biting my bottom lip timidly.

Kendall smiles and pulls me into his arms, and we sway to the beat. Time goes by with us giggling and sharing stories, just enjoying eachother's company until it seems as if we're the only ones left around. Others have either left in their cars, or have disappeared to their tents. I let out a yawn, which makes me chuckle. "It's getting late. And my feet hurt", I add, trying to get the message across that I'm ready to go home.

"Yeah umm", Kendall gazes away for a brief moment and then tells me, "I have a tent here."

Confusion fogs my mind, making my head spin and I tense up, letting my hands fall from Kendall. Does he have a point in telling me this, or am I just trying to read too much into something that's not even being offered.

Reading my mind, or just making things clear, he continues. "I would really like it if you'd stay with me tonight, Valentine".

Thankfully it's dark out because my face is flaming right now. Of course there's nothing I'd love more in this world than to spend the night with him, but am I being too hopeful by thinking that he wants me to actually stay the whole night and not leave after we hook up? I turn it around in my mind a few times and come to same conclusion; I'm too weak to say no.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Okay so I don't even know where to start right now with this author's note. First of all, I had a busy week/weekend so I wasn't able to update as fast as I normally would, so you have my apologies for that. Second, when this story is finished, I am done. I am retiring from writing, unless like a one-shot comes to mind or something. I just kinda feel burnt out from writing and honestly have barely had the urge to write...yeah it sounds awful, but it's the truth. So I just wanted to give you guys a heads up on that. If anyone is wondering, I'm not quite sure how many more chapters there will be, I never did map this story out lol. But yeah, I'm kinda just lost in all this and it might take a few days more for me to update again. I'm sorry, I just don't know what happened here with writing, I lost my spark...**

"What is going on with you?", Isadora tilts her head to the side at me and asks as I walk into the back room to get another bottle of vodka and tequila out to put behind the bar.

"What are you talking about?", is my response as I scan labels on the various boxes lined up on the shelves, until I find the Absolut.

As I'm reaching for it, she replies, "Well you're all bouncy...and cutesy", she waves her hands around as if I should know this, then takes a step toward me and points to my braided hair hanging over my shoulder. This is by far my usual style but what can I say? I wanted to try something different...and I might recall Kendall one time saying something about finding girls with braids attractive.

"Oh", I press my lips together trying to hold back a smile as I reach for the Absolut and spin around quickly, letting out a squeal against my better judgment. "I think Kendall likes me", I shriek so loud that it makes Izzy jump. I've been giddy all day since waking up next to him and last night was just an icredible experience with him; something I never expected.

"Umm, deets bitch!", the dark haired girl's eyes widen, and I think she's almost as excited as I am. "But for the record", she holds her finger up before I can begin explaining, "I told you that a few days ago", she smirks.

"Okay so", my heart starts hammering anxiously in my chest and my tummy flutters. "He asked me to stay with him last night...in his tent, and I did." I know she wants more but I have to play around with her, even though I'm practically dying to tell.

"Yeah, so?"

"So", I nibble on my bottom lip. "We made love last night."

"Okay", Isadora scoffs and tosses her hair over her shoulders. "This is getting boring", her lips push up to one side in obvious disappointment.

"Well I mean like, he took it slow and was so gentle and sweet and caring and...and after we did it I slept with him, like I fell asleep next to him and he held me all night", I start bouncing on the tips of my toes as I remember Kendall's kisses and touches. It's like I was dreaming and I'll never forget one single detail of the whole night as long as I live.

"Oh my gosh, really?!", Izzy exclaims and grabs my arm in excitement.

I nod my head and say, "Yeah, we kissed for like an hour before even taking any clothes off", followed by a sigh.

"Whoa, that is kinda serious", my friend raises her eyebrows and comments.

"You're telling me. I was dying, like I felt like I was floating or something. It was great though. And he could sense my impatience, it was crazy. He chuckled and told me to relax, that we have all night." I cover my heart with my hand and smile like some idiot, but I can't help it as I continue to gush. "It was so sensual and romantic, hearing the waves crashing into the sound in the background. I umm...", I pause to lick my lips. "I am so in love with him that's it's redic, Izzy. I wanna tell him, because I really think he might feel the same way about me."

"I totally he think he is, girl. And I'm so happy for you", she pats my arm again. "But when are you gonna talk to him?"

"Well, I was gonna talk to him this morning but Carlos's dumb ass kinda just barged into the tent literally right after I woke up. They were talking and everything, and invited me out to breakfast. Get this", I set the vodka down and search for the tequila. "Kendall let me wear his shirt you know since I slept in it and everything, and he let me use his toothbrush, AND he said I look really adorable with bedhead! So anyway, I didn't really get the chance, but I'm thinking about texting him and asking if can we meet tonight."

"Wow Val, this is some serious shit. I'm just glad you finally got to this point because everybody could see it except the two of you. And", she smiles deviously and crosses her arms over her chest, scrunching up her nose. "I made a bet with Logan that you guys would totally get together and now it looks like he owes me fifty bucks."

"Rude", I jokingly snap and narrow my eyes dramatically, glad that our friends can get some kind of amusement out of our situation. But it is what it is and there's no point in getting angry about it. "Anyway, I better get back out there before customers start flipping their shit", I snatch the Jose Cuervo from it's box and grab the vodka.

"Let me know how it goes with Kendall!", she shouts back as I walk out, tossing an arm up in the air as an answer.

The two ladies Trudy and Sahara that are working the bar area give me relieved looks when I come back out. Yeah, it's a Saturday night and things can get pretty hectic, so I decide to jump in and help them. I head to the man occupying a stool at the end, who's head is down on his arms and he's wearing a hat, but he looks an awful lot like Kendall. "Penny for your thoughts", I walk around and put my hand on his shoulder.

His head flies up and his lips curve up at the edges when he sees me, while he pulls the cap off and sticks it on backwards, making my heart skip a beat. "Val, hey. I umm, was looking for you actually. This chick was hitting on me so I came over here to hide."

I laugh, imagining some girl trying to dance with him and grabbing at him and telling him that she's going to take him home and lock him in the basement, making him her love slave. I mean, I should probably be jealous, but it's kinda funny right? "So what's up?", I let my eyes roam over his face, taking in his gorgeous features.

"I was wondering if maybe we could talk about something when you get off work. I mean, if you don't already have plans", a shoulder comes up to his chin.

"Actually, I think that's a really good idea", I retort and close my eyes for the briefest moment to take in his scent.

"Really?", he asks, looking a bit surprised.

"Yeah", I nod. Feeling nervous with the way he's looking at me, I lean in and say the first thing that comes to mind. "I'm gonna go get a drink for my favorite customer. Be right back." I begin walking away and toss him a wink over my shoulder, not missing the grin that lights up his face. Yeah, he so wants me.

It takes longer than the quick minute I was hoping for, for me to return, and I hand Kendall the glass of beer. "Sorry, things got quite busy. And still are, so I guess we'll talk later?" Some things came up that need my immediate attention and as much as I'd rather chat up Kendall, duty calls.

"Yeah", he takes a sip of the beverage and I shamelessly watch his adam's apple bob up and down delicously. Dragging my tongue up the front of his neck is one of my favorite things to do. "I just saw Logan walk in anyway. Gonna go catch up to him."

"Kay", I say and walk away, intent on taking care of these tasks. They take me longer than expected, and I find that almost two hours has passed since I disappeared to the office. When I come back out, it looks as if seventy five percent of the patrons are well on their way to Drunkville, as expected on a Saturday night. Everything seems calm as I glance around at the sea of dancing bodies on the dance floor and give a quick sweep over the rest of the place, noticing Kendall and Logan sitting at a table. Unable to control myself, I smile and head over to Trudy and Sahara to ask how things are when I'm stopped by a familiar person calling my name.

"Valentine?", the male voice calls.

I stop and turn slightly, coming face to face with Jacob. "Hey", I greet him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah", his eyes go over me and I feel slightly uncomfortable. "You look really pretty tonight".

"Thanks", I give him a smile.

He slides his hands into his pockets and steps closer, trying to raise his voice so I can hear him over the music pumping through the speakers. "I was gonna ask if you wanted to come over or something when you get off of work."

I sigh, and decide that honesty is the best policy. "Jacob", I run my hand up and down his forearm to soften the blow. "I think you're a really great guy and all, but the truth is I'm in love with someone else."

Guilt creeps up as I watch his face fall. "I'm really sorry", I inch up to him and give him a hug, whispering in his ear. "If things were different, I'd totally hang out with you tonight, but I already have plans."

"No worries", his arms come around my waist and he squeezes before letting me go. "But he better treat you right or I'll kick his ass."

I smile at his comment, grateful that he's taking this so well and tuck my hair behind my one ear and nod. "Thanks Jacob. I'll see you around school".

"You got it pretty lady", he winks and walks away.

My mind runs amuck with the possibilities of what Kendall wants to talk about later as I refill the ice machine and help out the two ladies working the bar. Ninety percent of me is pretty sure he's going to say what I feel; that he likes me, too. A small doubt nags at me though, but I push it to the side.

My mouth forms a smile when I hear Kendall calling my name a short time later, and I look up from searching for more napkins behind the bar, to see the blonde cutie standing with a dark haired girl, holding her hand. "Hi", my smile wipes itself away.

"About later...nevermind", his eyes don't really reach mine. "Andrea and I are gonna go hang out", he informs me, leaving me with the conclusion that the chick standing next to him is Andrea.

My heart falls to the pit of my stomach and I feel sick, but I just nod and whisper, "Okay". The pinching pain in my chest grows a little stronger with each step Kendall takes toward the door, walking hand in hand with the girl. Apparently, I've been wrong in my assumptions all night and tears sting at my eyes when they disappear completely from my view.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Okay, so this isn't the most exciting of chapters, it's kind of a link from ch 11 to the one-shot, so obviously the one-shot will be chapter 13, and then I plan to go further than that, so don't get sad yet ladies. Also, my aplogies for being a slacker lately, I'm just kinda burnt out and umm...addicted to tumblr. I'm going to finish this story, but most likely will only be updating 2 or 3 times a week instead of everyday, and then probably take a break from chapter stories, but I do hope to write more one-shots whenever ideas come along. I love writing, think I just need some space from it for a while. Maybe one day I'll even continue Bad Romance, if the notion strikes! And let me just thank all of you wonderful reviewers and say that you are the best. SHOUT OUTS ****SuperSillyStories****- aww I'm sorry for breaking your heart...I won't quit, I'll just slow down some and take a break *hug* you are so sweet! And yeah Kendall kinda got a little jelly hehe ****suckerforlovestory****- bahaha your review cracked me up, but yeah Kendall got a bit jelly and over-reacted... :) ****DeniseDEMD****- aww you are so sweet, I don't think it'll be retiring, more like taking a break because I truly do enjoy writng, I just feel burnt out at the moment, you know? Also, the next chapter will be the one-shot, do you have any ideas of how I could take it further after that? If so, PM me woman :) I miss you ****GlambertLovesBTR****- yeah guys do crazy things sometimes when they're not sure how to control their feelings :) ****annabellex2****- Aww thank you. And yeah that was totally rude of Kendall, maybe he will wise up :) ****paumichyy****- Yeah something's DEF up with Kendall hehe Aww thanks, I think I just need a break from writing for now, or to slow down you know? You are so sweet :) ****Logan's Honey Pie****- awww I sowwy to make you sad :( But yeah, what' sup with Kendall right? :) ****CarlosLover****- aww thank you so much, you are too kind :) I won't leave forever, at least not yet! Hehe and yup Kendall is just...plain stupid right now! haha ****Tokala****- aww thanks so much! Yeah Kendall totally screwed up, I feel for Val :) ****Emy . Elle****- yah, it was a jealousy issue, sorry to burst your bubble already lol but...Jacob Black, good gawsh girl, I LOVE me some Taylor Lautner, dude is HAWT! ****child who is cool****- thanks, great review :) ****ValentineZombie****- you are by far way too sweet girl! I think a break will do me some good. Haha I hate to burst your bubble, but I guess I kinda blew my cover in the A/N but more drama will ensue, don't worry! :) ****kachilee07****- you are so sweet, thank you so much. I don't think i'll be going into retirement, just taking a break ;) And yeah Kendall's kinda being a douche right now hehe ****Guest-**** Yes, Kendall is DEF being a stupid male right now**

"Dude, what is wrong with you?", Logan asks as he looks me up and down.

"Nothing, why?", I step to the side of the door in silent invitation, allowing Logan to step in. Okay so maybe I might look somewhat of a hot mess since I fell asleep on the couch for a few hours, but still.

"Well, we haven't seen you since last Saturday and I didn't know like if you got sucked into a black hole or something", he comes in and I close the door, then turn around to face him again.

"Been busy you know?", I cross my arms over my chest, trying to conceal myself somewhat, but it's no use, he's already gotten a good look at my SuperWoman pajama set.

Logan tilts his head to the side and narrows his eyes as if he doesn't believe me. "Yeah yeah, Val. Something's up, don't lie to me."

Okay so I never really pegged Logan for the 'I can see right through you' type, but I'm surprised at the sneaky bastard. I shrug. "Well I have had finals this week as well as work and I had my period, too, so you know...", I trail off, not wanting to delve into the details of my heartache and possible depression. It's true though, I totally go into hibernation mode on my period and could stay in my house for a whole week if I could.

I watch in amusement as his brown eyes widen and then go back to normal and his face scrunches up in disgust. Hey, I'm a woman and it's a fact of life, no sense in trying to deny something that's completely natural. Okay, so deep down inside maybe I'm hoping a bit that it will scare him off and he'll leave.

Instead of heading for the door, the brunette stalks toward my kitchen, leaving me to follow after him, ironically. "I'm thirsty", he comments and stops when he reaches the middle of the floor.

"Okay and this isn't your first time here. You know where everything's at, so help yourself", I saunter over to the refrigerator and pull out a package of cookie dough then pull myself up onto the counter. I rip open the package while Logan takes a glass out of the cabinet and pours himself some Mountain Dew, holding the bottle out to me. I shake my head no and take out a piece of the raw cookie dough, nibbling at the corner of it.

Logan leans against the counter across the kitchen and raises an eyebrow. "You could get salmonella or something from eating that." He sets his drink down on the counter and licks his lips.

"I'll take my chances", I retort and shove the remaining part in my mouth. Yeah, everyone has their weird eating habits and I know I'm not the only person on this earth that eats raw cookie dough; I mean hello, cookie dough ice cream, right? So it can't be all that horrible.

"Whatever", he gives a small chuckle and I remain quiet, not knowing what to say or what he even wants. I guess the silence gets to him because after rubbing at the back of his neck for a moment, he gets to the point. "What's up with you and Kendall?", he tosses out the question.

Fuck, I really didn't wanna go through this. It's been six days now, can't I just pretend that nothing ever happend and maybe even that Kendall exists? Things would be so much easier that way. "Nothing, why?", I try to play it cool.

"Don't give me that. He's been bumming around all week and you look miserable", Logan pushes his lips out for emphasis.

I don't know what sparks inside of my chest, but something does and I'm suddenly concerned for my best friend/fuck buddy. "What happened? Is he okay?"

"He's just been upset, hasn't been talking much to anyone. Just like you, he's pretty much holed himself up inside his place. He did mumble something to me Saturday night at the bar though...", is Logan's response.

"Oh", my stomach flops; I was hoping that maybe Logan would say Kendall misses me or something. I don't know why but everything bubbles up to the surface and I blurt my feelings out to Logan. "This is the longest we've ever gone without talking", I fling the uneaten chunk of cookie dough onto the counter next to me, not caring that it misses the package and sticks to the marble surface. "I don't know what's going on", I sigh in frustration, the yucky feeling creeping back into my bones.

"You like him don't you? Like more than a friend". The way he words this is basically a statement, not a question.

I nod my head and bite down on my lower lip, trying to keep the tears trying to well up at bay.

Logan's voice softens. "Kendall told me that you guys had been sleeping together. I guess I should have picked up on it, but you kept your feelings hidden well, Val", he walks to the middle of the room, unsure as what to do.

"I...It was so stupid. I thought that you know, we could just get pleasure from eachother and not have to deal with all the complications, but friends with benefits never ends well. I should have known better", I skim my hands up my thighs nervously.

"I think he likes you, too Valentine", Logan takes a few steps closer, his body language confirming that he's beside himself, so I pat the counter next to me. Within seconds Logan is seated next to me, perched up on the counter and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"That's just insane Loges. Kendall could get any girl he wants. I mean he has all these fangirls running around chasing after him. I'm just Val, his best friend, the equivalent of the girl next door.

"He was upset the other night you know", Mr. Mitchell's arm comes around my side loosely.

I tip my chin up to look at him. "About what?"

"I don't know exactly what. He was grumbling something about you and that Jacob guy. That's when he took off with that Andrea girl. It couldn't have been easy to see the guy you're in love with walk away with some other chick."

"Yeah, so he probably figured he wouldn't be getting any from me that night so he took someone else home", my last shred of hope tumbles to the ground, leaving me with an ache in my chest.

Logan's fingers soothingly brush against my side. "I think it's more than that, Val. Give the guy some credit, we've never seen him like this before. Or you even. And I know for a fact that all he did was drive Andrea home and then go to James's place and get wasted."

"Things with us just got out of hand", I tell him matter of factly. "Just give the both of us some time to deal with things and we'll be back to best friends like usual", I toss a fake smile at him, but he's not buying. I know better than to believe that Kendall would like someone like me.

He pushes my mussed up bangs out of my face and kisses my forehead. "You don't have to act all tough and mighty around me, Valentine. I know you're hurting and that things will never be the same for the two of you. No, he hasn't come right out and admitted that he likes you, but I really think he does. I wouldn't lie to you or try to string you along."

"It is what it is Logan", I rub his arm in appreciation. "We don't get to choose our own destiny and it's out of our hands." Tired of feeling sorry for myself, I slide off the counter and pad with my bare feet across the kitchen and open my liquor cabinet, pulling out the bottle of Captain Morgan's and taking a drink straight from the bottle. "See, this is the reason why I'd rather stay at home and read books or watch movies, because I can do it safely without getting my feelings involved and end up getting hurt", I confess and take another long swing straight from the bottle before extending my hand out to Logan, offering him some.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Okay so I haven't totally disappeared, but I have to admit something. I don't know what's going on with me lately but my urge to write is totally gone, like I literally had to force myself to sit down and write this. However, the more I wrote, the more I got excited and am hoping I'm getting that 'spark' back because this morning I was on the verge of tears feeling absolutely crappy about not having any wants to write. So yeah. I'm skipping shout-outs tonight because I'm also updating Bad Romance tonight. If you were reading that, make sure to read the A/N for it tonight! With all that being said, I am hoping to update once or twice a week only. I don't want to burn myself off by making myself do it, because it's not fun when you treat it as a job/chore versus a hobby. But yeah, I'm happy to be back and I hope you guys like this. By the way, to all of you reviewing, I love you guys immensely. Without those reviews, I seriously wouldn't be writing at all. I appreciate all the support you guys give me. *muah***

**ALSO, the one-shot comes after chapter 12 and before chapter 13 lol, it's no longer in my doc mgr and I was too lazy to upload it again...so in case anyone gets confused, this is the first thing to happen after the one-shot.**

My chest leaps into my throat when the doorbell rings and I literally jump up off the couch. Kendall's here to pick me up for our 'first date' but so many scenarios had played through my head since he called me earlier, super excited about something. Of course, he wouldn't tell me what it was, but he said he has big news and he wanted to tell me in person. Half of me has been jittery all afternoon, feeling like I've been waiting on pins and needles. Now instead of being excited, nervousness and anxiety creeps in; and it's with weak knees that I make my way to the door, and open it with trembling hands. Hey, I don't remember my best friend ever being this riled up about something before and I'm kinda freaking out.

"Hey", Kendall greets me with a big smile, holding out a single rose and just like that, all the negativity exits me and a goofy grin forms itself on my lips before I can stop it. I take the rose and sniff it, revelling in the floral scent. I mean, I know the man standing in front of me is nice, but I've never been on the receiving end of his romantic antics, or his wooing; and I have to admit that I like this...a lot.

"Hi", my eyes sweep over him, dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, a hunter green button up that makes his eyes look absolutely wicked, and a black tie. A whiff of his cologne floats up to my nostrils and I have to hold myself back from grabbing his tie and dragging his face to mine.

"You look stunning", he compliments, making a sudden heat enter my cheeks. To be honest, I kinda went all out for him and I'm glad he noticed. Not only that, but I guess I really do care what he thinks and I'm relieved that he approves. Instead of my usual goth gear, I'm donning a casual lace black dress with minimal make-up, and my hair curled, with my bangs swept to the side and a black band holding the rest back off of my face. My chunky jewelry has been replaced with a simple gold set consisting of diamond earrings, a necklace with a heart pendant formed with diamonds, and a matching tennis bracelet that has been sitting in my jewelry box for years.

"Thanks. You do, too", I answer honestly. "So what's up? What's this big news you have to tell me?", I ask as I step to the side, allowing him to come into my house. I make my way to the coffeetable and set the flower down while waiting for him to answer.

"Well", he waits until I turn around and shoves both hands into his pockets and lifts himself on the tips of his toes with a smirk, then lowers himself back down. "I'd rather wait until later to tell you".

"Ohhh", I respond, not knowing quite sure how to feel and he senses this.

Stepping closer to me, Kendall takes my hands and looks into my eyes. "Val, it's nothing bad, I can promise you that. I just want us to go out and have some fun without other thoughts running around inside of our heads."

"Okay", I half whisper, still not feeling too sure. I just don't like to be out of the loop with things.

"Look", his hand slips down to my waist, softening the blow. "This is our first real date and I wanna focus on you", he squeezes the other hand that he's still holding and closes the distance between us. I have to tip my head back to meet his gaze, but it's practically moot since Kendall barely brushes his lips against mine before whispering, "Chill out", and starting to tickle me.

After giggling and shrieking, and promising not to be mad, he stops tickling me and we exit my house, where I'm informed in the car that he's taking me to the beach, where we're gonna walk the boardwalk, ride the rides, and have dinner. My heart gives a little extra beat at the thought that Kendall remembers my favorite thing to do as he puts the car in gear.

...

We're strolling through the various rides while I'm carrying around a stuffed koala bear Kendall won for me and sharing a bag of cotton candy. I'd rather not get my hands sticky so he's feeding me from the bag and it's cute and quite humorous. Sometimes he'll jerk away as I'm going to take a bite, or I'll bite his fingers playfully. "Uh-uh. No more", I shake my head as he takes a big wad of the fluffy pink stuff out and holds it out to me. We've already annihilated half the bag and I feel a bit queasy from all the sugar.

"C'mon, just one more", he pleads and wiggles his eyebrows, then with a mischievious grin, the blonde stuffs half the candy in his mouth and leaves the other half sticking out and leans over to me, insinuating I take it from him. Ugh, he's so cute. I can't resist. I inch my face closer to his and just as I open my mouth, he quickly opens his and flicks the cottony treat inside his mouth with his tongue, causing my lips to bump into his. I'm not complaining though.

I feel him smirk against my lips and loosely rest his hands on my hips, and in retaliation I clutch the front of his shirt and drag my tongue over the seam of his lips to get all the sugar off, then bite his lower lip and push him away. "You tricked me!", I pout playfully and take a step back.

"You totally liked it", he narrows his eyes jokingly and drapes his arm around my shoulders.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't", I shrug and grin, then start walking away towards the Ferris Wheel. "Wanna ride?", I ask him.

"Sure, why not?", his arm goes out to the side and we get in line. Time just flies past as we chat and then get on the big wheel when it's our turn, sitting close together cuddling against the chill in the air, watching the sun set from up in the air.

Once we're finished, I get a slice of pizza and Kendall gets two corn dogs, and we sit on the bench to eat, then decide to go walk on the sand for some privacy.

The both of us take our shoes off and let 'em dangle from our hands as we walk, letting the cool water skim over the tops of our feet whenever a big wave would crash. We just talk about anything that comes to mind until he drags me off away and sits down in the loose sand, pulling me on his lap. I sit sideways on his thigh and loop an arm around his neck, observing him as he nervously takes a deep breath and looks down to the ground, then up at me. He pushes my hair back off my shoulders and studies my face for a minute, and I'm content letting him do it. I can tell this is the moment I've been patiently waiting for all day and I don't want to push him, so I just press my lips together and give him a tiny smile.

"Valentine, this seems to have come at an odd time but...", he trails off, breaking our eye contact.

"But what?", I ask softly, encouraging.

"Some producer saw us playing at your bar the other night and this dude offered to sign us to his record label. The guys and I are going to _ to make an album.

A squeal escapes from between my lips and I just stare at Kendall with my mouth hanging open. "Oh my gosh! Are you serious?!", I exclaim, willing myself not to bounce up and down on his leg.

"Yeah", he tilts his head and smiles.

"That is so great!", my smile is so big that it feels like my face is going to split in half. Ironically, Kendall doesn't look too pleased. "What's wrong? Why aren't you happy about it?", I question him.

He drags his tongue over his lips slowly and rests an arm on my thigh. "Because I...we, I mean us, we're kinda just getting started Val and I'll be gone for a month or two."

"Yeah but this is like, BIG SHIT!", I throw my arm out to the side, accidentally bumping him on the bed. "Oops", I giggle. "It's a big deal, something that all four of you deserve and have been wanting for a couple of years now", I shake my head as if he's being silly.

He tips his head to the side and looks me over intently. "I kinda thought you'd be mad or upset."

"Really?", I ask. "If anything I'm proud of you and the guys, and will always support your dreams." I lower my face to kiss his cheek.

"But it wouldn't really be fair for me to ask you to wait for me while I'm gone", he replies, taking my hand and lacing his fingers with mine.

"And I'm not some love-sick teenager that will stay home all day crying and doodling in her notebook, waiting hopelessly by the phone for you to call", I retort, sticking my tongue out at him. I can't lie, there's a heaviness in my chest but it would be selfish of me to try to hold him back. Not only that, we've barely even begun dating, I have no claims on him. "When do you leave?"

His hesitation makes me hold my breath and I don't think I'll like his answer too much. "Tomorrow morning", he answers, a frown on his face. "Wait", he jerks back slightly. "So you'll be seeing other guys while I'm gone?"

I definitely don't like the idea of my fuck buddy/best friend/potential love interest leaving so suddenly, but it's for a good cause and he'll be back, so why should I be one of those bitchy, pouty girls? I pull a shoulder up to my chin and let my arm fall from around him. "I don't know, maybe", I try to keep my voice normal so he doesn't pick up on the fact that I'm teasing. "We'll just have to see what happens."

I see the devious glint in his eyes as he reaches for me, but I jump up and start laughing while sprinting away. Considering he's so much taller than me, it doesn't take long for him to catch up and tackle me to the ground. I fall on my back and he lands on top of me, his hands at both sides of my head. "You can say whatever you want but you're gonna be all mine when I get back", he almost growls, a dangerous look on his face that isn't scary, but lets me know that he's serious. And I love it. I mean, he's crazy even thinking that I'd try to see someone else. He's obviously blind to the fact that I'm in love with him, but now isn't the time to discuss those feelings.

My answer to him is a kiss. A kiss full of urgency, need, passion, and a hint of bitterness because after tomorrow he'll be gone for a while. He pulls away before things can get too heated, and places a peck on my forehead, nose, and chin, then sits up and extends his hand out for me to take. "C'mon, let's go back to your place."

I stand up and start brushing the sand off of me when his arm comes around my waist, guiding me back to the boardwalk. "I hope you don't have any plans tonight because I intend to keep you busy all the way until tomorrow morning."

"If those plans include you in my bed then I'm all yours", I respond and lean my cheek on his arm.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N I am such a bum about updating, and I'm sorry. I have no excuses other than maybe I'm a procrastinator? I don't know lol. I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter, it sounded A LOT better in my head but I guess we'll see. Hope you guys enjoy and a big thanks to you lovely reviwers, you rock my writing world! (I know it's corny but it always makes me laugh :P) SHOUT OUTS ****SuperSillyStories****- haha romantic Kendall is like, too freakin' incredible right? I just can't! Yup the band got signed, and umm, well let's just see what happens as far as Val is concerned ;) ****CarlosLover****- Yeah Kendall and Val's relationship is cute and strange, that's for sure :) yeah, i'm back-ish hehe and I'm happy that you're happy :) ****Logan's Honey Pie****- Yup the date was fun AND the guys got signed, how awesome right? :) ****Emy . Elle****- Yah, Kendall just had to leave. Bahaha sorry to burst your bubble, but there is no smut in this chapter, but there is drama, which I know you like so... :) ****Tokala****- yeah, Kendall won a toy for her *squeal* :) ****BTRfanfiction1516-**** haha, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that your OMG's mean that you liked the chapter? :) ****DeniseDEMD****- Yay, i'm glad you like how I continued. And yeah, baby steps are working good...although I don't think this is continuing how you want it to :P ****ValentineZombie****- I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter so much, makes me feel like I'm doing a good job :) I appreciate your patience with my lack of writing these days, I just feel bad that it's taking so long and before I used to pop out new chapters practically everyday :/ But you are awesome, and I've been meaning to ask how your writing is going? Thanks so much, I really do appreciate your advice 3 ****kachilee07****- Awww and how did you know what Kendall was gonna say? I'm just that transparent huh? Hehe :) Thanks for your concern, writing has just kinda...taken a backseat to tumblr maybe? I don't know, I'm trying here...and thanks for everything! :) ****BatGirlHenderson****- Haha I loved your description of Kendall, so true though :) ****annabellex2****- yeah, they're leaving...just to record though, so no worries :)**

Isadora's eyes widen and her mouth drops open the moment she catches sight of my face after answering the door. "Valentine, what's wrong?", she takes a step toward me, her expression changing to that of concern.

Too choked up to form words, I extend my arms out weakly with the two lattes from Starbucks, and move forward. Izzy takes them within in a matter of seconds and I numbly make my way to her couch and plop down.

"Val, what is wrong?", she's on her knees on the carpet before me, studying my face, pushing my bangs out of my eyes.

"Mason, Erica, and K-Kendall", I'm able to utter around the lump in my throat, that's accompanied by a fresh batch of tears beginning to cascade down my face. The puzzled look on my friend's face makes me feel even worse, and I drop my chin to my chest and let my hands fall to my knees, tapping my fingers on the joints after a few minutes to help calm myself down.

To put it in a nutshell, I dated Mason Averies for two years before he dumped me for my so called good friend Erica Summers. She's the closest thing I ever had to a female best friend, and all of that was destroyed the moment she confessed she'd been sleeping with Mason behind my back. Talk about betrayal. Mason was my first love, and also the person who screwed me over so bad that I haven't taken another chance at love until Kendall...and that's not going so well apparently, either. To summarize the story, my two friends moved away and now they're back in town.

"It's okay", Izzy doesn't try to push or prod, she just grabs a tissue from the box and dabs at my eyes.

"S-sorry", I stutter, trying to take a deep breath to compose myself. After a moment, I take a sip of my warm coffee and blow my nose, then turn towards the worried latina.

"Yesterday I was grocery shopping and happened to bump into Mason and Erica", I pull my legs up Indian style and wrap my hands tightly around the cup. "They're now married and have a daughter together."

Sympathy clouds the brunette's eyes and she squeezes my arm. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah", I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check. The memory is just as if they're standing in front of me right now and it hurts. The pain in my chest quickly transitions to anger. "They looked so happy. Erica was all smiles talking to her child sitting in the front of the cart with her arm wrapped around Mace. But", I set my drink down and tuck my hair behind my ears and let my breath out slowly. "Mason came into work last night and tried to proposition me. He told me I look better than ever and that he obviously made the wrong choice. He said he never stopped loving me, and that Erica was just a physical thing, but she got pregnant so he had to do what was right. According to him, he's not happy and he's on the verge of asking her for a divorce. He tried to ask me for a dance, but I declined."

Isadora's mouth drops open briefly. "Get the fuck out! You can't be serious. What a creep!", she exclaims.

"I know right", I reply, and for some reason her response makes me giggle. "He's such an idiot. First of all, I'm not buying the part that they're not happy. He cheated on me and he'll do it to her. But hey, that's karma and I refuse to feel bad for Erica. And I'm sure as hell not touching that with a ten foot pole, who knows what kind of STD's he's running around with. But I just don't get it. I mean, does he think I'm that stupid? Yeah it took me quite a while to get over him. It's like an insult to my intelligence and he thinks he's God's gift to women or something." I shudder. I went through a whole depression phase and lost fifteen pounds, it was rough for about a year after things went down with us, and then I remembered that I'm still alive and waking up every morning for a reason. I've been out on, like two dates after Mason, and before Kendall, but knew nothing serious was going to come out of anything. I've already stayed at the Heartbreak Hotel once and that was my last time...or was it?

"Fucktard", Isadora mutters and wiggles her eyebrows at me, while my phone starts vibrating in my pocket and I take it out, giving it a quick glance and then rolling my eyes and sighing deeply. When I fail to laugh at her reaction, she nudges me in the side playfully, taking in my once again fallen face. "What's wrong now? He's an ass, you're over him. No need to let him keep your mood down chica."

Tears well up in my eyes as I look down at the screen of my phone, which informs me that I have twenty seven missed calls from Kendall. Pressing my lips together tightly, I offer my friend my phone, who glances at it and narrows one of her brown eyes. "Kendall is calling you like a stalker and you're not answering. What's going on?"

Shoving the ache in my heart to the side, I fill Carlos's sister in on the second part of my crappy night last night. "Well, I was pretty emotional and confused and just...blah about seeing Mason, so after closing up the club, I went home and had a few drinks. I hadn't heard from Kendall all day and figured he was busy, but I really just needed to hear his voice, so I called him around three thirty in the morning a-and a woman answered his phone."

"WHAT?!", Izzy gasps. "No, maybe you were mistaken."

"No", I shake my head grimly, feeling my stomach churn. "Someone was whispering in the background and then she giggled. My brain was frozen for like five seconds before I could even talk. When I did, I just lamely answered, 'Wrong number' and hung it up as fast as I could."

"Maybe it wasn't Kendall. I mean, what if he lost his phone and a chick found it somewhere and just took it?", Izzy offers, trying to be positive.

"I don't know. I-I just...you know, we didn't make any promises to eachother or anything, saying that we won't see anyone else or anything", I wrap my arms around my tummy at the chill running through my body. "So technically I have no reason or right to be mad. We're not exactly together, so it's not cheating if he's sleeping with someone else."

"She could have been just a friend", Izzy shrugs. "I don't know what to say babe", her arm reaches out to rub at the top of my hand. "But don't freak out just yet. Stay optimistic, it could just be a huge misunderstanding of some sort."

"I don't understand men", that sinking feeling returns and everything is beginning to darken. No many how many different ways you cut the cake, it ends up with the same conclusion. I mean, if this so called girl did find his phone or steal it or whatever, why would she answer it? If I was in that situation, I'd be scared to.

Jealousy creeps in and I have to remember that Kendall isn't mine. We slept together for a month and had one date. I'm not entitled to anything and he's still free to do as he chooses. I should've known better than to let myself get into this predicament in the first place. For some reason, I'm just not one of those types of women that men can keep faithful to and want around forever.

Silent tears slip out and I grab the blanket draping over the back of my friend's couch and cover up with it, while letting out a yawn. Sleep seemed to evade me at all costs last night as thoughts relentlessly ran through my mind, and now I'm just too weary to care anymore. My eyes flutter closed of their own accord and I almost drift off to sleep when Isadora's loud voice interrupts my almost slumber.

"Umm yeah hi, Kendall. Val's sleeping right now since she was up all night with some man she took home so maybe you should try calling her NEVER. And while you're at it, I hope you choke on a big, fat dick." I watch in shock as she taps on the screen of my phone and smiles evilly.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I know this is later than usual *cringe* sorry, I have no excuses other than getting caught up in watching a Degrassi marathon hehe. This isn't the most fabulous thing, but next chapter will be better and WILL be out much sooner since I'm really looking forward to writing it. So hopefully by the end of the weekend! **

"Don't look now, but guess who's heading your way", Isadora says briefly as she passes me by. Trying to lie low, I tip my head to the side and dart my eyes a few feet away as I run my fingers through my bangs and sigh aloud when my eyes land on the brown eyed snake named Mason. I've been dreading another run-in with him since the moment I saw him yesterday. Attempting a getaway, I spin around quickly, intent on getting away unnoticed or unscathed, but am stopped by a big guy lightly grasping my wrist.

"Hey hon", he smiles up at me and I return his grin. This guy is Charlie, one of the regulars.

"What can I get ya?", I ask, not happy with the interruption, but hopeful that Mason will see that I'm busy and walk right past me, or maybe even he wasn't trying to approach me.

"Two more Coronas and a Jack and Coke, please", the gray haired man replies and hands me a twenty dollar bill.

"You got it", I slip the money into my apron pocket and pat his shoulder. "Be right back, Charlie". I stride away and manage to get two steps away from the employee entrance waist-high door at the bar before my face just about collides with a red shirted chest and I jump back startled. "S-", I begin to apologize but cease when I meet the face of the person I was trying to avoid.

"Hey Val", Mason leans his hip against the bar.

I lick my lips and roll my eyes, aggravation rising up into my chest. "Look I'm working right now and you're in my way", I say as nicely as I can, and step to the side, but Mason makes no effort to move.

His lips curl up into a smirk and his arms cross his chest. "Okay, in that case I'd like a beer please."

Not exactly wanting to cater to his needs, but acknowledging that this is a business and he is a paying customer, I muster the strength not to vomit on his feet. "What kind?", I ask.

He leans forward, his eyes sweeping up and down my body, making me shudder. Yeah I just don't like being stared at like a piece of meat, especially when he used to call me fat and I've trimmed down since we were together. "Surprise me, sugar", he winks.

"I don't have time for this shi-", my tone raises with annoyance, but my sentence gets cut off when I see a hand shove Mason hard in the chest, making him stumble back, his medium sized frame bumping into the bar roughly.

Not giving me any time to process what's going on, Kendall's hands come to rest upon my upper arms and give a delicate squeeze. "Valentine, are you okay?"

At first I'm taken aback by the concern in his voice and the flash of uneasiness in those emerald eyes, but the memory of my phone call to him last night pushes that to the backseat. I jerk away from Kendall, backing up, the sight of Mason steadying himself on his feet making me groan.

He looks back and forth between a stunned looking Kendall and myself, then back again before his mouth twitches and he taps his bottom lip with the tip of his index finger. "Kendall Knight, huh? I can honestly say I really didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah well", Kendall inches closer to Mason, his shoulders tensing up as his hands curl into fists. "Val's my girl now, so why wouldn't I be hanging around, trying to protect her from creeps like you?"

To my astonishment, Mason snorts and licks his lips, eying me up and down again. "Yeah I can understand that. I mean, hell", his arm extends toward me, motioning up and down the length of my body. "If she hadn't have been so chubby back then, I never would've cheated on her. But look at her now, she sure looks delicious." Mason's sentence is followed by a whistle, and not two seconds later, Kendall's fist meets his jaw.

Even though the words spoken are true, and it's been two long years, it still cuts like a knife. No one likes to be called fat or chubby or chunky, especially not a girl; and not by someone who they cared about and gave all their love to, who turned around and treated them like a pile of dirt laying on the ground. The bad thing is, you live your whole life being told by older people that beauty comes from within and it doesn't matter what's on the outside. My mom always swore that men would be lining up at my feet because I'm funny and don't take crap, and I'm caring and kind and know how to have fun. Yeah it's easy to believe that when you're laying in bed at night, letting fairy-tale like scenarios play through your head. Some man will love me even if I'm a bit overweight. But when the sun rises and reality colors the world, the truth comes to light and past experiences wrap around your neck like a hand trying to strangle you, reminding you that in this fucked up place, it definitely is looks that matter; people absolutely judge you on your appearance.

Mason lands on the floor and Kendall turns to me, his jaw clenched in anger. "I can't believe I've only been gone for two weeks and you're already sleeping with somebody else."

My mouth falls open and I'm speechless, but I manage to slap him across his cheek just before Mason pummels a shocked Kendall, knocking him to the ground.

Everything happens so fast, it's like a big blur. I can't tell where it began or where it ends, but I hear myself shouting to a wide eyed Isadora, "Get security now!", and I call both guys' names, watching as the crowd backs further away while the two men wrestle and fight, until Craig, the bouncer yanks Mason off of the dimpled blonde and drags him over to me.

My breath comes out in a whoosh, not realizing that I had been holding it in all that time, and a wave of dizziness washes over me as I place a hand on my hip and firmly tell Craig, "Put him out. If I see you back in here I will have you arrested". I smile smugly inwardly at the blood dripping down his face and the bruise already forming on his cheek, then spin around forcefully to Kendall, who is straightening his clothes.

I press my lips together tightly, crossing my arms over my chest and don't bother to hide the expression on my face as he nears me. "You need to get out of here, too, or I'll call Craig to throw you out as well."

"What? Why?", I wince at the hurt undertone in his voice.

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, willing myself not to cry right now here in front of him and turn away.

"Val, babe, what's wrong?", he takes my hand and I shake him off.

"Get your hands off of me", I spit. "How dare you accuse me of sleeping with someone else when first of all we're not even 'together'", I use two fingers on each of my hands to use air quotes as I say that word. "And you're the one who was too damn busy for me yesterday. I call you at three in the morning and get a female giggling into YOUR phone. So that is what's wrong. Get away from me, Knight!", I jab my finger into his chest and walk away, noticing the scene I'm starting to cause. I know it's not very professional, but sometimes it's hard to hold your tongue.

"Val, I", he reaches for me but I continue on. I stalk through the back of the building with a burning feeling in my chest until I get to the office. I storm inside, lock the door behind me and pick up the first thing I can reach on the desk which is the phone and throw it across the room, watching it slam into the wall.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N It's kinda a busy weekend with Mother's Day and my mom's birthday tomorrow, but I said I would get this out and here it is. I skipped shout outs cuz of time, but yeah. Hope you guys like it. And to be honest, I have no idea how much more further the story will drag on. But a big thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you reading and reviewing this. Without you, I would have abandoned it :)**

I'm so wrapped up in my own little world of confusing emotions as I drive home, that I fail to notice the sleek black car parked across the street. I pull into the driveway and turn my engine off before climbing out and locking the doors with the remote as I walk up the walkway. I'm startled and all but jump out of my skin when a voice calls my name just as I insert my key into the doorknob. I spin around with my heart pumping wildly, and come face to face with Kendall.

I ignore him and turn back around to open my door, not wanting to discuss anything, Kendall really hurt my feelings with what he had said to me earlier. I guess in a way I should have expected this from the way he kept calling and texting me to the point that I turned my phone off and did a lot of thinking as I finished up my work in the peaceful quietness of the office. I'm stopped from stepping inside by my best friend grabbing my arm. "What do you want Kendall?", I yank my arm free from his loose grip.

He sighs and then asks, "Can we talk Val? You won't call or text me back."

"I have nothing to say. I've already said everything earlier", I keep my tone harsh so that my point comes across clearly. I enter my house and attempt to close the door behind me quickly, but to my dismay Kendall follows directly behind me and slips in the door a second before it shuts.

"I miss you", he says softly, tugging at my heartstrings. I take my light jacket off and toss it onto the chair and kick my heels off, slumping down onto the couch and pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Missing me isn't going to accomplish anything", I rest my chin on my knees, still avoiding his gaze. I don't even care if he's injured or not, but looking into his eyes will just make me melt right now.

"Damn it Val", Kendall shouts and stalks over, sitting in front of me on the floor. "Just let me talk, okay?"

"Whatever", I roll my eyes defeatedly. When Kendall's adamant he can be really persistent, and he won't stop until he gets what he wants. I know this very well from experience.

"I umm, I was really confused when you said something about a female answering my phone."

"Yeah", I spit sarcastically. "I called you at three thirty in the morning and some chick answered". The pain comes back into my chest.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Kendall run a hand through his short blonde locks. "I was lost about that, but then I remembered that James borrowed my phone and took it to his room. I was beat and went to sleep early. You can even ask Logan, he was bunking with me."

I can feel some of the tension leave my shoulders at this explanation and I have no reason not to believe Kendall, but I'm battling some old demons right now. "Fuck this, I need a drink", I get up off the couch and prance into the kitchen, taking a drink of rum straight from the bottle that I left sitting on the counter yesterday, and spin back around to find Kendall standing in the middle of the room.

"Just for the record", I say after the long drink of amber liquid smoothly slides down my throat, leaving a warm trail in it's wake. "I didn't sleep with anyone either. I'm a little hurt that you believed Izzy when she said that", I lean against the counter for support and lick my lips. "She just said that to get back at you because I thought you slept with someone else", I confess. "But", I throw my hands out in front of me in defense. "I didn't tell her to do it, nor did I know she was gonna do it beforehand."

I move my eyes to Kendall's, noticing a tiny grin playing on his lips. "So you mean to tell me that I drove eight hours today for nothing? It was all just a misunderstanding?"

"Basically", I nod my head once.

"Well it's not a total loss because I get to see you, and I have to agree with that thing people say, 'that absence makes the heart grow fonder'. I have missed you so much, Val. You have no idea." I freeze up as he slowly makes his way to me, resting his hands on my waist.

Oh I know what he means when he says he missed me, I surely do, but this can't happen right now. I chew on my bottom lip nervously as he studies my face, then grab the bottle of alcohol and take another long swig, leaving it between our chests to maintain some kind of a distance. "It is a total loss, and you probably shouldn't have come back", I say as fast as I can, before I have a chance to think it over and stop myself.

"What?", Kendall's head tilts to the side and a look of confusion covers his face.

"I don't think any of this should have happened in the first place. We were mistaken, taken over by lust", I eye the brown bottle in my hand and bring it back up to my lips, allowing myself more of the liquor.

"How can you say that?", his voice is tinged with slight pain but I block it out.

"How can you not", I shrug and take a few steps to the side, needing to get away from his scrutiny. "I played with fire and got burned", these words come out matter of factly.

Kendall's eyes are wide and a baffled expression decorates his handsome face as he takes time to let things sink in. "No Val", he raises his voice. "You are not doing this to me."

"Doing what? Saving myself from heartbreak?", once again I have another lovely sip of rum, feeling it make it's way through my veins, beginning to numb me from this cold, dark world. "I can and I will."

I want to scream and shout, throw the bottle across the room and watch it shatter into hundreds of pieces, mirroring the turmoil brewing inside of me right now.

"I won't hurt you Valentine. You know that. You can trust me. I'm your best friend, you've known me for years", his tone softens and he tries to plead with me.

"And that's all I have to offer you", a tear slips from the corner of my eye and I swipe at it reluctantly and somewhat ashamed.

"No. I can't accept that", he sounds disbelieving as he stumbles backwards a bit.

I lock eyes with him, having another drink of the Captain Morgan's almost as if I'm tempting him somehow by showing him my defiance.

"Don't shut down on me. Don't shut the door on us when we've barely even just begun. I love you, Valentine", his eyes are begging me not to tear his world apart.

"It's not you, it's me", I speak lamely but honestly even if it doesn't make sense, as a few more hot tears cascade down my cheeks. I think the moment I laid eyes on Mason again yesterday all my insecurities came rushing back and that brick wall built itself up again around my heart, all subconsciously.

The alcohol is doing it's job as Kendall rushes to me and takes my face in his hands. "Fuck Mason and what he said. Screw what he did to you before!", he yells angrily, his eyes darting back and forth. I let mine drop down to the floor. "He's stupid and an asshole and doesn't know how to treat women. None of those things he said was true."

I lift the bottle between our bodies, hating that I can still feel, but Kendall snatches it out of my hand and tosses it to the floor, the sound of glass breaking fills my ears in a daze. Next thing I know, his thumbs are tipping my chin up so we're face to face. "You're beautiful and funny and smart."

I shake my head back and forth, unwilling to accept what he's saying right now, only stopping when he presses his lips roughly into mine. It's like heaven and there's nothing I would love more than to fall into Kendall's arms and let him hold me and console me until I'm too tired to think and just fall asleep. But the devil on my shoulder shakes it's head at me, forcing me to shove Kendall away at the chest.

"No, Kendall. You and I are done", I tip my head up to the ceiling, unwilling to look at his face. "It's back to just friends for us."

"I know you're just confused right now. By doing this, by going back to curl up and die in your little hole is allowing Mason to win. It's like you let him have some kind of invisible power over you or something You can't let him do that", Kendall speaks out of frustration, just above a whisper. "And I want to be here for you, but it's too painful because I need you in a way that I don't think you need or want me, Val. I don't think I can go back to being just friends with you."

Shock swoops down and breaks me out of my haze and fear strikes at my heart. Am I about to lose the most important person in my life because I'm too scared to get hurt again? "You...you don't wanna be my friend?" It sounds pathetic, but I can't help it.

"No", Kendall gives a firm shake of his head. "I can't. I need you to hug and hold and to kiss. It's your voice that gets me through the lonely nights, the though of you that keeps me going."

"I-I don't know if I can", my breath comes out in a whoosh as if someone just punched me in the gut.

"You need to figure it out", Kendall remains in place, making no effort to come near me or walk away. "Because there's a lot at stake."

"Kendall", I blink rapidly. "I don't know", it feels as if all my strength is leaving my body.

"You have one week to figure it out Val. Take the time to think and come to a decision. If I don't hear from you by then, then I guess I have my answer. Just remember that I love you." My vision is blurred by tears, so I don't watch him walk away, but the sound of my front door slamming closed confirms that he indeed is gone.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Okay so I'm pressed for time right now and unfortunately I am without internet for the next 3-5 days so I'm kinda SOL and tripping out already. Hope that you guys all enjoy this and I plan to update again when I can. I do hope to update within the next few days as this gets quite intense hehe. Also, I think I'm about delve into writing for another fandom, Degrassi...if you any of you watch it. Lol, I know it's a kid's show, but I love the shit out of it. So yeah, if you get alerts from me, you might receive something new out of nowhere, dont wanna confuse anyone!**

**Kendall's POV**

"What time is it?", I ask Logan without bothering to look at the clock before setting my empty beer bottle down on the coffeetable in front of me and moving to the middle of the living room of our rented house, too restless to sit anymore.

"10:24", he responds a bit reluctantly, and sits up straighter from his position on the recliner.

"Damn", I mutter, running a hand haphazardly through my hair. It's a Saturday night and I've had the worst week ever of my entire life waiting on pins and needles for Valentine to call. Or maybe, I thought, she'd take a cue from a romance novel and end up at my door, waiting to leap into my arms the second it opened. But it's been six days, twenty three hours, and fifty six minutes since I last had contact with her, and still no reply. My chest constricts, knowing that the chances of the doorbell ringing or receiving a phone call are slim to none. Fifteen years of friendship and five weeks of the best sex of my entire life are getting ready to be flushed down the toilet all without a single word.

"Take a deep breath, bro", James comes stalking in from the kitchen, handing me another already opened beer, setting a hand on my shoulder in silent support.

"Maybe I shouldn't have given her that ultimatum", I voice my thoughts aloud, to no one in particular. If I hadn't, maybe she would eventually come around in her own time. I know being pressured isn't one of Val's strong suits and it most likely is causing her to shy away, but the feelings I'm holding inside are too intense, and being away from her to record for a month made me realize just how much she means to me, and I've never been good at keeping things bottled up inside. As sure as I'm standing here breathing right now, I love that woman straight down to my soul and there's not a single thing in this world I wouldn't do for her.

"I should have just offered to be there for her, even if it's just as a friend", I speak and hold the bottle to my lips, letting the cold amber liquid fill my mouth before swallowing it and continuing on with my rant. "But no I had to be selfish, thinking of only myself and what I wanted. I had to be pushy", I sigh loudly, pinching at the bridge of my nose in disgust.

"You didn't know, man. You tried to do what you thought was right. Quit beating yourself up about it", Carlos intervenes.

"It just pisses me off because if that fucker Mason never came back she wouldn't be acting like this", I begin pacing the floor, my mind running a hundred miles an hour. "I should have smashed his whole face in and not stopped until even his mom would never recognize him again."

"Look dude", Logan gets up to his feet and slips his hands in his pockets. "I'm not trying to be a douche but you're a young guy and life will go on. Quit sitting around wallowing in your pity. Get up and do something to take your mind off of her for a little bit."

"Agreed! How about a game of pool downstairs in the basement? I'm still the reigning champion as of right now", James smiles cockily, a challenging look settled on his face as his gaze sweeps over all of us.

"Okay. You're on", I shrug figuring it's better than pacing around, wearing a trail on the plush carpet.

"I'll grab some more drinks and bring 'em down", Carlos offers and the rest of us nod, making our way to the basement.

As I'm putting chalk on my stick, James grabs the triangle to set up the balls when Carlos comes rushing down the steps with wide eyes. "Guys, Isadora just called", he chews his lower lip apprehensively as three sets of eyes dart his way.

"Umm", he takes a deep breath and scratches the side of his head. "Val's in the hospital. Something about passing out or having a seizure on the way to the airport. I don't know."

I feel my heart drop to the floor and fear grips my heart in a tight grip. I grab onto the table for support as adrenaline courses through my veins, giving me a head rush. "I-is sh-she...", I stutter.

"Izzy says she's alright", Carlos approaches me, patting the top of my trembling hand resting on the felt covered game table. "She just has to stay in the hospital overnight so they can run some tests. Right now they're not exactly sure what happened."

Reality sinks in and I let out a breath that I didn't even know I'd been holding in, that comes whooshing out forcefully. Valentine was on her way to the airport; she was on her way to come see me.

The pool stick falls out of my hand but I numbly head for the stairs, the game suddenly becoming the least of my worries. "I need a ride to the airport. Gonna fly out to L.A.", I call out behind me, climbing the steps two at a time.

...

**Valentine's POV**

I awake to the sound of muffled voices, opening my eyes and blinking in confusion, taking in my surroundings. It takes a minute for me to remember that I'm in the hospital because I had a seizure, according to the doctors who treated me in the emergency department last night.

"Val!", an unexpected voice calls my name in excitement, and I watch in a blur as Kendall sprints over to me.

"Hi Kendall", I smile weakly, wondering what he's doing here.

He sits gently on the edge of the bed and pushes my hair back, placing a peck to the middle of my forehead. "How are you? Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay. Just a little thirsty", I swallow hard against my dry throat. My sight zones in on a sheepish looking James, Carlos, and Logan, all with worried expressions on their faces, across the room lounging in crappy hospital chairs. "Hey guys", I greet them. "What's going on? Why are you guys here?"

"I brought you this balloon", Carlos beams proudly, pointing to a humongous helium filled balloon in the shape of a bear holding a sign that says 'Get well soon'.

Kendall's expression changes; his face falls and his eyebrows knit together. "Izzy called and told us what happened. You had to know we were worried, so we came to see how you're doing."

I bite my lip and sigh, tugging the edge of the sheet up over the ugly hospital gown. "I'm absolutely fine. It was just a seizure. No big deal."

"That is a huge deal missy", he pats my leg, his lips curving up into a soft smile as he pats my leg gently.

"Yeah, we were all worried about you", Logan nods while the three of them come closer.

"I honestly think I had a heart attack when Iz called me", Carlos states.

"Awww you guys are so sweet. But as you can see, I'm alive and well", I try to keep my voice cheerful through the war raging in my head. "You didn't have to drive eight hours just to see me, you could have called."

"Pssh girl", James tilts his head to the side. "We got on the first flight we could last night. No matter how hard we tried, they wouldn't let us in to see you, though."

"You guys", I'm touched at their reactions but it's not that severe of an issue.

"Yeah, James even tried to flirt with the ugly nurse. You know, the one with the 'stache and bright blue eyeshadow", Logan makes an 'eww' face.

A giggle passes through my lips at James, he looks like he's about to throw up, but he nods his head. "I would have taken her out if I had to. Then you would have owed me big time."

Before I have a chance to respond, Kendall butts in. "So what happened? What did the doctors say?"

I lick my lips, dropping my gaze to my hands that are fidgeting in my lap. "I don't know. I was in the cab on the way to the airport when I felt like I was having an anxiety attack. My heart was beating super fast, I started shaking and broke out into a sweat. Next thing I knew I was in the back of an ambulance headed here", I press my lips together in ending.

"Didn't they run some tests?", Logan asks.

"Yeah, they think it was hypoglycemia, basically it's low blood sugar", I lift my face and tuck my hair behind my ears as I tell the guys.

"Does that mean you're diabetic?", James asks.

"No, you idiot", Logan slaps the brunette on the back of the head. "It's LOW blood sugar", he puts emphasis on the 'low'.

"What caused it? How do they treat it?", a curious looking Kendall asks.

I grab my cup of water from the stand next to the bed and take a sip. "It most likely happened because I hadn't eaten in a day or so...", I'm too ashamed to see their reactions. "It's not like I have an eating disorder or anything, though. I've been under a lot of stress and have been so busy I didn't even think about eating."

"That's dangerous, Val", Kendall takes my hand, rubbing circles on the top of it with his thumb.

"It wasn't on purpose", I yank my hand away irritated. "Don't you see me sitting here? I'm just fine and fucking dandy", I can't control how loud I get, and cringe when the door opens. I figure it's a nurse checking to see if everything's alright, but my mom's head peeks in.

"Hi, sweetie", she says to me, her eyes widening at the sight of the guys. "Hi boys", she closes the door and walks over to me, handing me my backpack. "The cabby came back and gave this to us last night."

"Thanks", I smile at her, feeling like a thirteen year old girl unsure of the world all over again. I'm desperate to ask her advice, but now isn't the best time.

"Who wants to go down to the cafeteria with me and get a bite to eat?", she raises her eyebrows in silent recognition, then turns around to Carlos, Logan, James, and Kendall.

Of course Carlos jumps up first, then Logan, and lastly James. "I think I'm just gonna stay here", Kendall informs them, and I cringe inwardly.

"I think that's a good idea. I'll be back in a while, Val", my mom says but avoids looking me in the eye.

Complete silence falls over the room as the door closes behind the four people who just walked out. "So...", Kendall's emerald irises bore into my face, making me very aware that he wants to talk.

"I umm-", I shift awkwardly, sending my bag sprawling off the side of the bed by accident, to which Kendall leaps to get for me.

The bag is set at the foot of the bed while Kendall remains bent over, his attention focused on something else. My heart leaps up into my throat when I catch what he's looking at.

As his fingers close around the small piece of paper and pick it up, my chest feels constricted and it's suddenly hard to breathe. Kendall's eyes bore into mine, anger flashing in them while he clenches his teeth together. "This ticket says Indonesia."

"Kendall", I sit up, reaching for the plane ticket with last night's departure date on it. "I can explain..."

"No", he shakes his head back and forth in disbelief, rising to his feet and backing up slowly, horror written all over his face. "You weren't coming to me. You were running off to another country!"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Long time no see huh? Guys, this is the last chapter and I had every intention of getting it posted sooner, but my motivation has flown completely out the window. I don't particularly like this a lot because I couldn't get it exactly how I envisioned it in my head and it's kinda sucky so I'm sorry. Also guys, I just wanna say that I love all of my readers and appreciate all of the support that you guys have given me. On that note, I'm informing you that I am going on hiatus as of now. I don't know if I'll ever write chapter stories again, but I will most likely write drabbles/one-shots from time to time if the urge strikes, but I seriously need a much needed break. I hate to be the person that doesn't finish a story, but I still have Bad Romance up...I"m offering the story to anyone who may want to finish it. I have no more plans for it and have already written what the request-er asked and have no interest in it to be honest. My apologies for leaving you guys hanging like that but I'm sure someone else can take it over and make it good. PM me if you're interested! Once again I love you guys and feel free to PM me, hit me up on twitter, or follow me on tumblr :) *muah* **

I look at the door one last time; half of me willing it to magically open and have Kendall come strutting through, fighting for me, telling me that he loves me too much to let me walk out of his life. The other half of me feels ashamed, and like I can't get out of here fast enough. It would be so much easier to leave now without another awkward confrontation with anyone.

As soon as the nurse had brought me my release papers, I changed into some clothes my mom had brought me and quickly gathered up the few belongings I have around the room. I 'donated' per se, my flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals to the hospital, instructing the nurses to give them to patients who have no visitors or give them to some children who would enjoy them better than I could.

Now that everything's in order, I grab my bag from the bed and turn towards the door when it opens. My heart stops for the briefest of seconds, but I let out a sigh of relief when Carlos enters the room. Ironically at the same time his brown head of hair appears, a pang of disappointment creeps into my chest. I'm surprised to say the least, but I manage to curl my lips up into a tiny semblance of a smile. "Hey", I sling the bag over my shoulder and tug at the hem of my shirt apprehensively. "What's up?"

A look of confusion crosses the latino's face as his gaze sweeps over my dressed form, and he holds an arm out. "Where you going?"

"I'm being released. I get to leave this hellhole", I say sarcastically as if it were a prison and shake my head side to side with fake enthusiasm.

"Oh umm", he turns back to the door, then back at me, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Do you maybe have a minute?"

I'd be totally lying if I said I wasn't caught completely off-guard here. "Yeah, sure", I shrug, curious as to what Carlos wants.

"Kay", he utters and rubs his hands together, then yells out, "Showtime boys!", giving me a smirk.

I stand in place, shocked as Kendall, Logan, and James enter the room. "Have a seat", James doesn't give me any options as he approaches me and places his hands on my shoulders before firmly walking me backwards until I'm seated on a chair beside the bed.

"What is-", I attempt to question their motives when Logan shakes his head at me.

"Just listen", he smiles and holds up an iPod in a pink zebra print case that makes me giggle a bit. I notice that Kendall is standing in place, his gaze locked on the floor as he chews his lower lip nervously. My heart thunders in my chest as my eyes roam over his obvious avoidance of me.

"Umm okay", I agree.

Not a moment later, a song starts playing on the music player, and Kendall's head comes up as he takes a step forward, his eyes meet mine and he begins to talk. It takes only a few seconds for me to catch onto the song as he speaks directly to me. "Baby I know you're hurting. Right now you feel like you could never love again. Now all I ask is for a chance to prove that I love you."

Tears well up in my eyes as I watch the guys perform in front of me, Kendall doing most of the singing to one of my favorite songs when we were little, 'I'll Never Break Your Heart' by Backstreet Boys.

_From the first day_

_That I saw your smiling face_

_Honey I knew that we would _

_Be together forever_

_Ooh when I asked you out_

_You said no but I found out_

_Darling that you'd been hurt_

_You felt like you'd never love again_

_I deserve a try honey just once_

_Give me a chance and I'll prove this all wrong_

_You walked in, you were so quick to judge_

_But honey he' s nothing like me_

I smile inwardly as I listen, old memories playing through my head of Kendall getting annoyed at me playing this song on repeat. What can I say? I was a ten year old girl with pipe dreams and no perception of the real world. All four of the guys sway back and forth, then slide to the front, dancing in sync as they join in on the chorus, literally making goosebumps pop up all over my body.

_I'll never break your heart_

_I'll never make you cry_

_I'd rather die than live without you_

_I'll give you all of me_

_Honey, that's no lie_

The rest of the group fall back, leaving Kendall two feet away from me, his eyes resonating every single word that passes through his lips as he continues with the song. James joins in during the bridge, showcasing his amazing talent.

_As time goes by_

_You will get to know me_

_A little more better_

_Girl that's the way love goes baby, baby_

_And I (I) know you're afraid (know you're afraid)_

_To let your feelings show (feelings show)_

_And I understand_

_Girl, it's time to let go (girl, it's time to let go because)_

_I deserve a try (try) honey_

_Just once (once)_

_Give me a chance (chance) and I'll prove this all wrong (wrong you walked)_

_You walked in, you were so quick to judge (quick to judge)_

_But honey he's nothing like me_

_Darling why can't you see_

...

Once the song ends, Kendall remains in place in front of me and my jaw is dropped open. I just don't know what to say or feel; mixed emotions are swirling through my head, making it spin voraciously like a tornado. I'm able to swallow hard and utter a, "wow".

Carlos, James, and Logan all give eachother knowing looks and James speaks up. "We're just gonna get out of here now and give you guys a few minutes to...er, talk."

"Yeah", Logan nods his head and follows the brunette who's already making his way to the exit.

"Good luck", Carlos gives me a wink, and then joins his buddies, who disappear through the door seconds later.

I lift my hand in a wave and run my palms up and down my thighs, more nervous than I've ever been in my entire life.

After a few moments of silence, my nerves get the best of me and I blurt out, "That used to be my favorite song."

"I know", Kendall's reply comes meekly, tension radiating from him.

I'm scared to look at his face, terrified to see what I know I've done to him but I do it anyway. A thorough glimpse shows his hair in disarray, scruff from not shaving decorates his upper lip, down his sideburns, and on his chin. His eyes are red and dark circles lay underneath the usually vibrant emerald irises. "I don't know what to say", I whisper.

I watch his hand slide up the back of his neck and he rubs at it. "I went through a lot of trouble tracking down that song from one of the nurses, and getting one of them to loan us her iPod.

"Kenny-Kendall", I correct myself. "I-", I'm cut off.

"Val", Kendall comes down to his knees and scoots closer to me, tilting his chin so our gazes meet. "That's it. That's my last try of getting you back. Not gonna lie, I was crushed when I saw that airline ticket last night. But I had to do something. And I understand if you can't be with me but please respect the fact that I can't only be friends with you. Maybe in time, just not now. For the last time, be with me Val?"

I turn my head away and press my lips together tightly as a tear escapes the corner of my eye. "I can't", I answer slowly, my voice breaking.

Kendall's face falls in disbelief, and I sniffle, shaking my head back and forth. The tears blur my vision, so I don't see him, but I hear the sound of his footsteps moving away from me across the floor, and the doorknob turning.

"Maybe it's fate", I hear myself murmur in just above a whisper.

"What? What do you mean?", Kendall stops in his tracks and spins around, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

I clear my throat and sit up straight, taking a deep breath. "They say things happen for a reason. Maybe me passing on the way to the airport was a sign". I tap my fingers on my knees, wondering where the hell this thought came from.

"A sign? I don't really understand", he sighs and rubs at the back of his neck.

"I umm", I take a deep breath and swallow, managing to get up on my feet. A rush of warmth floods my body as I speak the words in my heart. "I can't live without you, Kendall. And I trust you a hundred percent. I know you would never hurt me on purpose. All I'm asking is that you be patient with me and-"

I don't get to finish my sentence because Kendall's swooping me up in his arms, pressing his lips to mine desperately. "I'll do anything you want", he murmurs. Tears fall down my face like rain as reality hits that I almost gave this up and lost the best thing I've ever had in my entire life.

When he pulls away, he's smiling at me like an idiot and I squeeze his hands. "This is kinda like the end of a sappy movie right?", I ask jokingly.

"Yeah but our story is so much better than any book or movie. And it'll never end."


End file.
